Tag: God

In Dependence Day

In Dependence Day

by Lindsay ♥ 6 Comments

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

As the 4th of July draws near and thousands of Americans venture out to buy fireworks to shoot into the sky, independence is on my mind.

However, it’s not the kind of independence that the July holiday celebrates. Instead, I’ve been meditating on our days of dependence in Christ.

Recently, I’ve come to notice that many Christians are ashamed to be totally dependent on Christ. It’s interesting how ridiculously hard it is for people to come to the end of themselves. To get to that point of the utter famine of self-reliant resources. When they can no longer pretend they are ok in their own strength.

Why is it so hard for Christians to get to rock bottom?

I think it’s because people are born independent of God. Until the point of conversion to Christianity, a person has spent their entire life learning how to live for themselves.

When Jesus comes along He offers salvation through Himself, counsel through the Holy Spirit and a dependable, capable, loving Father.

Unfortunately, many Christians don’t make it past the point of believing in God. They stumble at even really trusting God. And if they don’t trust God, then can’t don’t depend on Him for everything.

I was just reading in 2 Kings today about the Israelites. They knew God and worshiped God. However, they also worshiped idols and served other gods at the same time. They were the poster children (of God) for a lack of dependence. Instead of proceeding swiftly to their Promised Land, they paused and tarried for 40 years in the wilderness in defiant independence.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend 40 years of my life wandering. Nah, I’d rather get this dependence in Christ thing down now and be productive and fruitful.

In an attempt to tersify the point I’m making, too many Christians still live independent of God even though they are in a relationship with Him. It’s kind of like they turn to God and say, “I love You, kinda.”

Let me assure that it’s not a shame to be dependent on Christ. In truth, it is totally ok and biblical to rest and depend in Christ. I challenge you to the title of this blog: be dependent in Christ every day.

If Christians get to the point of depending on God, many do not make it past a few moments of dependence. And maybe minutes, hours or a few days of dependence. Sadly, however, after they make it through their current struggle/trouble/problem, they stop totally depending on God and go back to a life of self-dependence. Then, after the next problem causes their life to go into a downward spiral, they return back to God for more moments of dependence. It’s a cycle. And a non-biblical cycle, by the way.

“Wait,” you say to yourself, wondering. “You mean depending on God for a little while and then trying to do things on my own when I feel better isn’t ok?” Correct, thinking reader. Correct.

Jesus said in John 15:5, “apart from me you can do nothing.” It doesn’t say, “Sometimes when you’re feeling extra super strong, you can do things.” It doesn’t say, “After you’ve depended on Me and rested with Me awhile you will have enough knowledge to be a success on your own.” No. It says we can do nothing apart from Him. So that means that we have to do all things with Him and in dependence on Him. And it also shows me that we can be desperate for God every day.

I think of it like this: It’s either nothingness without dependence in Christ or it’s fullness and abundance with dependence in Christ. I don’t want to have nothingness any day so I am desperate for God everyday. I am in dependence of God every day and I challenge you to do the same thing.

Make every day an in dependence day.

Seeds and Leads

Seeds and Leads

by Lindsay ♥ 1 Comment

I met Brooke Fraser last Thursday.  She is a wonderful woman of God.  She has a great voice too.  Brooke played a concert in Nashville and I was blessed enough to make her acquaintance.  I took tons of pictures but have not taken the time to put them on my computer yet.  Perhaps later…

The reason I got to meet her is because I wrote an article about her for CCMmagazine.com.   Because of that mass of words, I received free tickets to the show and an opportunity to meet her.  So, of course, I took it.

In case you aren’t familiar with her, please, read the article.  It’s got the basic gist of who she is and what she’s up to.  In short, Brooke Fraser is a solo artist with a massive career overseas who is trying to break into the U.S.  Additionally, she’s a member of Hillsong United, a music ministry movement of Hillsong Church in Australia.  She’s an amazing songwriter with an awesome voice and is definitely worth looking into!

Brooke has a song called “Seeds.”  It’s on her new CD “Albertine.”  That’s where the first half of this blog title came from.

The second half pertains to me and my ever-popular job search story.  I’ve got a few leads now through friends who work at particular companies.  I must say that it is way more encouraging to apply for jobs when I know that somebody already working there can help me out than it is to apply “cold” to jobs.

One of my leads is at my roommate’s aunt’s workplace.  She is supposed to talk to her friend in the HR department today.  At this point, I’m most excited about working there because of the earnings potential.  I’m not a money-monger, but I do have a godly desire to support my friends who are missionaries.  A few of them have contacted me recently asking me to support them and I’ve had to deny my assistance.  I didn’t enjoy doing that.  I also would love to try and bless my roommate financially.  She has helped me out so much since I moved here a year and a half ago.  From buying me lunch sometimes to paying a little extra on the grocery bill, she’s truly been a shining example of service to me.  I want to repay her for that…literally.   I am not sure if she’ll see this blog, but if she does, my thanks go to you, Shay.

I’ve started prayer walking on the local college campus.  I was sulking in my bed one day trying to sleep off my feelings when God spoke to me and said that I should go prayer walk on campus.  He’d planted that idea in me months ago but I had not yet done it.  However, last Saturday, I armed myself with scripture and went to pray.  Now, nearly a week later, I’ve gone there nearly every day praying scripture over the students, the faculty and the campus.

Let it be known that I didn’t receive any job leads until after I started prayer walking.  When God calls you to do something, it’s in your best interest to obey.  Because obedience brings rewards.

Listen, obey, receive.  It kind of reminds me of lather, rinse, repeat.  🙂

In lieu of Coke, I drank sweet tea

In lieu of Coke, I drank sweet tea

by Lindsay ♥ 1 Comment

You’d think that after sitting around and thinking for three weeks that I’d have wonderful things to say.

You’d think my words would be eloquent and divinely inspired.

You’d think they would be full of revelation and profound truth.

You’d think…

I’d say that, yeah, I have learned a lot in this time. Yeah, I do have great things to say. Sure, if I sat here long enough and proofread every word three times this blog would flow seamlessly. Certainly I’ve received words of comfort from God. But I don’t know if I’d term them revelationary. (Yeah. That’s a new word.)

My roommate suggested that I fast something until I get a job. I decided to fast pop/soda/coke/cola/soda pop. Truth is, I’d often find myself plotting ways to go out and buy pop. I’d plan my day around my cola intake. I’d say that’s a case of the flesh overtaking my self control. Time out for a mini-lesson. Your flesh is your sinful, lustful, selfish side. Your spirit (that is, if you’re a Christian) is the God-seeking, submissive, righteous, holy side.

Since last week, I’ve not had any pop. It hasn’t been that hard to abstain from drinking it.

However, I noticed that I started drinking sweet tea and eating more candy bars instead. Rather than totally overcoming the urge for sugar, I just transferred the method of sugar intake. Not exactly a successful fasting exercise.

Good news is that I realized this was happening and I’ve taken steps to properly align myself, God, the flesh and my desires.

Some of you may find it weird that I have to starve my flesh into submission. I don’t find it strange. I find it necessary. Contrary to the way America works, our flesh and self-fleshness (‘nother new word combo) are not in charge. The flesh shouldn’t rule all of our desires. We shouldn’t go about our lives driven by our latest lust.

If I’m not careful, I find myself scheming for the next thing that I want. Take now, for example. I want an iPod Touch. My flesh is convinced that I have every good reason to have one. Examine the truth and you’ll find that I already have an iPod Nano. The Nano works fine. I’m unemployed and frankly cannot and should not afford another iPod right now. The main reasons I want an iPod Touch are so I can have wireless connectivity and email wherever I am. I want to beef up my cool factor. I want to have another toy to play with.

I don’t need a new iPod. I just want one. For totally stupid reasons.

If I were still employed, I would’ve purchased that iPod around the time I got laid off. I thought I had enough money to do pretty much whatever I wanted. I was planning a trip to New Mexico. I had a newly-deposited stimulus check from the government sitting in my bank account, waiting to be used. I was loving work. I was rolling in self competency.

And then all of that dreaminess and money freedom ended on a Tuesday morning when my boss came in and said my position had been eliminated.

I went from iPod dreams to an, “I’m unemployed,” reality.

Three weeks later, here I am with my third (perhaps fourth blog) about the fact that I’m unemployed. I still haven’t lost hope. I’m still expecting God to do great things.

Here’s what’s different:

1. I’m no longer controlled by my flesh (and ultimately Satan; since he drives all pursuits of the flesh).

2. I’m stewarding the money God has allowed me to temporarily use as my own to pay my bills, sow the seeds of His kingdom and give back to Him mainly in increments of 10%.

3 I’m a prisoner of hope. All I can do is hope. I cannot be negative because I find no moral, spiritual, physical, mental or sensical reason to be negative.

4. I enjoy my life everyday because I’m desperate for God, His provision, His work, His might, His comfort and His promises. I’ve learned the lesson that I need to be desperate for God all of the time. On the good days, the bad days, the sad days, the glad days. All days must be desperate days. Apart from God, I can do nothing. I was aware of that verse and concept but I just didn’t quite get it until I found myself in desperation.

I used to be ashamed of desperation. I have always been the put-together, proud person. I would only tell my life story experiences after they were wrapped up, taken care of and had a happy ending.

And now I am desperate…and I am celebrating it! I need God–more than I need a happy ending, more than I need a great job, more than I need a husband, more than I need food on the table.

In my current mental movie, I see the Nashville skyline on the left and God standing on the right. I hear Him say, “Do you choose to be alone with everything–your dream job, a good paycheck and friendly coworkers? Or do you choose Me alone, your everything? What do you want? Commuter? Or community? Do you want to be alone in your car on the way to work most of your life? Or do you want to work in the community where you live and build relationships with the neighbors around you?”

As I gaze upon the city skyline, I sigh. I see falsely glamorous, busy activity and aimless pursuits in circular, repetitive motion. When I fix my eyes upon Him, my Creator, I see true peace. I see a flowing river next to a stable, rooted, healthy tree.

Without vision, the people perish. Thankfully, you’ve just witnessed me receiving something revelationary.

I choose He alone, my everything.

Idol Dreams

Idol Dreams

by Lindsay ♥ 1 Comment

here i recline
listening to unreleased music
not acquired for media purposes
but from the cause of service

i sit without employment
of the job kind
but with the engagement
of God

a relationship highly regarded by many
and bitterly criticized by others
but i’m content with it

i deal with distractions
of addition and subtraction
to the core of what’s enough

faced with an epic battle of wits and will
i choose desire of Him
not an idol pursuit of an empty, self-formulated dream

Random Analogy

Random Analogy

by Lindsay ♥ 3 Comments

I thought of this analogy a few days ago.  It may not make sense or be fresh anymore, but I’m gonna type it out anyway.

The similarities of eggs, a relationship with God and life…

Sometimes life is hard
And our thoughts get a little scrambled
When we are deviled, we fall for things that are over easy
We occasionally get trapped in the poached snare of sin
Fortunately, God wraps us in an omelet of love
His yolk it is light on us
And we are never cracked beyond repair

Guided Aimlessness

Guided Aimlessness

by Lindsay ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I lost my job today.

It was totally unexpected.  And it wasn’t my fault.  They told me that it was because of business reasons.  The company’s not doing so hot and the economy isn’t either.  Therefore, here I am sitting at home without the thought of having to go to work tomorrow.

I’m not upset about losing my job.  I know that God will (and has and will continue to) take care of me.  He’s my provider and provision. 

I know that I’ll “land on my feet.”  I know I’m capable and qualified.  I know that there’s something better out there waiting for me. 

The thing that I don’t know right now is what exactly I’m supposed to do.  I don’t know if I should stay in the web/publishing business.  I don’t know if I should work in Nashville or here in Murf. 

I’ve already applied for several jobs online.  Yet I have to fight that feeling that I haven’t done enough to find a new place to work.  Nagging thoughts of uselessness and laziness hit my brain every few minutes. 

I’ve worked at several different places.  I’ve been a Certified Nursing Assistant, Flagger Girl, Copy Editor, Editor, Photographer, Writer, Resident Assistant, Front Desk Worker, Cashier and Stocker.

I absolultely loved my last job.  I thought it would be the thing I would do for a good portion of my life.  And now I’m not so sure about that.

I totally trust that God is directing my path, but right now I’m lacking on revelation on where to go next.  I need to delve into the Bible and stay in constant prayer about this.

I’m elated to report that I’ve received tons of support from my friends and family.  I’m so thrilled to know that they are lifting me up in prayer and that they’ll also seek direction from God on how I should proceed.

As I was considering things today, I realized that I’d been prideful again.  I thought I was better than people because I had a first shift job, was on salary, had a 401K and got a lot of free stuff.  I elevated myself above others because of the job I had. 

I know that it’s not right to do that, but there’s a fine line between being excited about the things I’ve accomplished and judging other people.  I often err on the side of judging and taking too much credit for myself and not giving it to God.  I’ve repented for that but I need to make significant change in that area.

Parts of me wonder if this job loss is a result of my pride.

Well, fortunately, now I’ve got lots of time to really seek God. 

May I Have Your Signature Of The Divine?

May I Have Your Signature Of The Divine?

by Lindsay ♥ 2 Comments

May I have your autograph?

An apparently harmless question asked countless times by countless fans to countless people of fame.

I remember standing in line for hours to get autographs from popular college football stars growing up. I waited with heightened anticipation for the scribble proving that I’d met somebody famous.

Fast forward a few years and I find myself standing in line once again to get an autograph from a few of my favorite famous musicians. I recall plotting the exact time to exit the concert so I’d get in the signing line early enough to make sure I’d get an autograph and not have to stay too late.

As I waited impatiently for the line to diminish person by person, I planned out exactly what I was going to say once I got to the front of the line.

“Hey. I love your music. It’s impacted my life so much,” I’d say, as confidently as I could muster. “Could I get a picture with you?”

*snap* The camera captures a moment in time.

My time is up. The line continues moving. I quickly scan the tiny preview screen on my digital camera and scrutinize my pictoral proof that I just met someone famous.

“Ugh..I look terrible in this picture,” I think to myself. “But wow…they…they look awesome. They always look awesome.” *gasp* “Wow, they put their arm around me. I’ve got a picture of me with this famous person and they have their arm on me. They touched me. Wow! I’ll remember this forever!”

As I walk away, I turn my scrutiny to my conversation with the famed musicians. Upset with myself that my words sounded stupid and shaky, I begin to beat myself up over what I said. And what I didn’t say. “I’ll do better next time,” I assure myself. “Hey, at least I met them.”

Have you ever found yourself in a similar scenario?

I think at one point everybody’s wanted somebody’s autograph. Favorite athlete, musician, movie star…whatever.

Not only do individuals pursue autographs in person, but record companies, distributors and websites use autographs to sell product. Particularly in the music business. A consumer is more apt to buy a CD if it’s got an autograph. CDs are automatically of higher value if they’ve got someone’s name scribbled with a Sharpie.

Going further, fans will spend tens, hundreds, thousands and even millions of dollars on raffles and auctions vying to win an autographed memento.

With all this waiting, money spending and anticipation, normal people are made into marketable business commodities.

I don’t know about you, but I see something wrong with that.

When exactly did people become product? When did it become ok to yearn to have somebody’s signature? When did all of this idolatry sneak in? And why does nobody see autographs as a form of idolatry?

I can hear Satan taunting me now, “Lindsay, this blog is stupid. You’re overreacting. It’s just an autograph. It’s harmless. Your friends are going to think you’re dumb for writing this. They’ll ridicule you. Don’t make such a big deal out of this.”

Well, if Satan’s telling me not to write this, then that means that writing it is exactly what I should do.

I’m totally cool with people meeting other people. By all means, stand in line to meet somebody and have a conversation with them if that’s the only way that you’ll ever meet them. But don’t put them above God. Don’t focus more of your attention and admiration on a person more than you focus it on God. When you fixate on anything more than God, that’s idolatry.

I love meeting new people–yes even famous people. But recently my motive for meeting others has changed. Instead of wanting to meet someone just to have the bragging rights that I met them, I now desire to meet Christian people so I can listen to them talk about their passions and desires in life.

I no longer desire someone’s hand-written autograph. I do, however, want to encounter the Signature of the Divine. Each person who has a personal relationship with Jesus, is marked with the signature of God.

“13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.” — Ephesians 1:13-14, emphasis mine.

Instead of striving for someone’s printed autograph, invest your energies into encountering God with every Christian person that you come in contact with. Familiarize yourself with the Signature of the Divine in others. And, whenever possible, show the Signature of the Divine to those in your life who don’t know Jesus.

May I have your Signature of the Divine?

Authentic Humility

Authentic Humility

by Lindsay ♥ 11 Comments

I learned what humility is the other day.

Humility is properly placing your confidence in Christ.

So simple. But so illusive.

I grew up learning to humble myself. I prayed prayers asking God to humble me. Meanwhile, I stumbled, fell and got scraped up being falsely humble, prideful, self conscious and non-confident.

I tried so hard but I got it so wrong.

I thought being humble meant making myself lower than other people. So I thought myself worse than others. Anytime I felt a shred of self assurance, I chased it away because I thought I was being prideful. I thought true humility meant feeling bad about myself.

But that’s not it at all.

It just means properly placing my confidence in Christ. Not in me. Not in my friends. Not in my family. Not in my talents, time and treasures. But in Christ.

And, since I’m in Christ, I’m confident because I trust His provision, guidance and protection. I often don’t have much faith in myself, but I for certain have a ton of faith in God and what He can accomplish.

And, like a loving Father should, He reminds me that He accomplishes things through me so I should have faith in myself just because He’s involved in what’s going on in me and with me.

That, my readers, is excellent.

Reel Regret

Reel Regret

by Lindsay ♥ 2 Comments

I think a lot. Sometimes too much. I used to think that all my thinking was a good thing. I valued my enhanced intellectualism and self-proclaimed wisdom.

I’ve recently learned, through reading books by Neil T. Anderson, that my mind’s been prideful and deceived for most of my life.

It’s certainly been humbling to learn about all the ways that I’ve been misled. The higher, hidden corners of my mind were exposed for their lowness.

But that’s not the point of this blog. It’s just a pre-explanation for what’s to come. So I’ll get to it.

Since my mind is racing and pacing so often, it’s like I have a movie theater, TV and radio station going all the time. I rewind and replay my favorite movie and television clips. I beebop along to my personal MindTunes soundtrack throughout the day.

The benefit to all this synaptic activity is that I’m not bored because I can just tap into my mind media archive. The drawback is that there’s constant cranium commotion.

As a fallible human, I’ve done things in my past that I’m not proud of. You could even call them regrettable. While my mind replays movies and TV, it also replays memories of my past and ideal situations for my future.

I call the unhappy memories of my past Reel Regret, with word play on movie reels.

I used to punish myself thinking about things in my past that I could’ve done better, or shouldn’t have done at all. I thought I was disciplining myself and preparing myself for a better future.

The truth is that I’d let Satan use those reel regrets to distract me from what I should’ve been doing in those present moments. I spent many days in the reccesses of my mind, completely unattached to what was going on around me. I didn’t connect with people, I just idly observed them as I reviewed the replays in my mind.

It’s safe to say that I missed out on the development of several relationships because I was thinking and not interacting with my surroundings.

Since I’ve began reading the Neil T. Anderson books (and books by Joyce Meyer and others), I’ve gained a lot of insight on the proper way to think. I’ve loosed bondages in my mind and my life. I’m more at peace than I’ve ever been and my mind actually experiences times of quiet.

However, with the increase in my thought control, there’s also been an increase in mental attacks from Satan. He’s tried (and succeeded several times) to make me continue to regret things from my past. He pushes play on the reels of regret in my mind. And, if I’m not taking my thoughts captive, I spend hours rehashing old problems and rehearsing how I’ll act in the future to make up for what I didn’t do in the past.

Satan even uses good things that I’ve done or intended to do and made me feel bad about them. Recently, I planned on giving a CD to a friend because I knew she liked that band’s music. I forgot to give the CD to the friend when I saw her. As soon as I realized I forgot to give her the CD, an onslaught of regret and sadness assailed me. It took me two days to finally get over feeling bad about that. Not only did I beat myself up about not giving her the CD and rehash all the times I could’ve given it to her, I started pre-planning the next time I’d see her and what I’d say when I gave it to her and how I’d make up for my previous forgetfullness.

It’s incredibly distracting to think like that. But I used to do it all the time. I used to think it was good that I was so analytical. I actually thought myself better than others because I analyzed so many things.

*takes a deep breath*

I was once trapped in the prison of my mind. But now I’m free. However, Satan and his legions still follow me around ready and willing welcome me back into mental distraction.

Satan is a player. He pushes the play button of regret. He plays on my emotions. He plays with my mind.

I’m pushing stop, removing his demonic DVD and unplugging the cord.

Curse the crisis

Curse the crisis

by Lindsay ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I believe that America has talked itself into a financial crisis.

If you watch or read any amount of news right now, it’s littered with opinions that we’re in a recession or we’re going into one.

I do not agree with those headlines.

I believe we’ve cursed ourselves into crisis. We keep talking about how bad the economy is and how bad things will get. We are speaking curses over our lives.

As a follower of Jesus, I’ve learned that God inhabits the praises of His people. I’ve also learned that we can prophesy things into our lives. We can speak in faith and expect God to work.

Satan is the thief of joy so he loves it when people speak negative things. Satan covets cursing.

People (except for a few) are not living by Kingdom principles. What are Kingdom principles? Well, living by Kingdom principles means living biblically. It means trusting God to be our provision. It means giving God 10% of the firstfruits our income. It means encouraging and uplifting each other. It means believing and living in faith and not failing and falling in fear.

I don’t walk around every day fearing that I’ll lose my job and end up homeless on the street. I do walk in confidence knowing that God is my provision, my shield, my refuge, my comfort, my strength.

Take a look around you. Most of what you’ll see is fear. God is not a God of fear. That means that an opposing force is at work. Satan flourishes in fear and prospers in panic.

I don’t believe we’re in a recession. We are, however, in an excession. A world in excess sin, idolatry, independence and negativity.

God loves to bless His people with prosperity…when they are obedient. Immediate obedience brings immediate rewards. As I walk in faith and obedience to Christ, I’m not afraid of all of these terrible things that the news proclaims. The world’s headlines are not my heartaches.