Tag Archives: confidence

I’ve Become What I Aspire Not To Be

I’ve become what I aspire not to be: a lax blogger.

I love surfing around and reading peoples’ blogs.  It’s exciting to me to read about all the goings on in the lives of my friends.

Somewhere along the line, I got off track with updating my own blog.

I’ll be frank with you…I think it’s cheesy and cliche to not blog for a really long time and then come back and write a blog about how bad of a blogger you are.  And yet, here I am doing that very thing.

It’s amusing to me that people admit things like that.  People who read the blog are already aware that the person has not blogged in a long time.  So why talk about it?  Although, I also find it gratifying to read someone’s web apology for a lack of blogging.  *shrug*

Moving on.  What have I learned lately?  Well, the biggest thing I’ve learned is that humility is a personal responsibility.  “What’s that mean, Lindsay?”  It means that humility is something that always needs to be tended.  It always needs to be cultivated.  It always needs to be pursued.  It always needs to be monitored.  It always needs attention.

To me, responsibility means all those things I listed above.  Humility can’t be apathetic because apathetic humility leads to pride.  A lack of care for humility leads to an excess growth of pride.

For all of my life as a commited follower of Christ, I’ve struggled with humility.  I would either be totally lacking in confidence, thinking of myself as totally unworthy of anything.  Or, I’d be completely overconfident and haughty.  Instead of finding balance in the middle, I’d teeter and fall from one side to the other.

After I moved to TN, I started attending New Song Christian Fellowship.  My pastor teaches that “humility is confidence properly placed in Christ.”  So, with humility there can be confidence, but it needs to be placed in Christ.  Not in the flesh.

That makes it so simple.  It’s not about shoving down confidence.  It’s not about bolstering confidence.  It’s about placing it in the right place.  When I fully realize that God is the One who will never fail and He is the only thing worthy of total faith and devotion, that brings me low.  Not low in a bad way.  But just lower in comparison to His awesome glory and splendor.  It elevates Him above me and puts me in my place.  A place of humble submission to His direction and plan.  It also takes the pressure off me to portray a flawless facade.

Back to personal responsibility.  My perspective of that has changed.  I used to be focused on keeping up appearances or scrambling to make myself not feel worthless.  Now I realize it’s my responsibility to stay humbly submitted under God’s hand. 

That pretty much sums it up.  I’ve learned other things, but that concept is resounding the loudest in my head.  Hopefully it will create a ping in your head, too.

Authentic Humility

I learned what humility is the other day.

Humility is properly placing your confidence in Christ.

So simple. But so illusive.

I grew up learning to humble myself. I prayed prayers asking God to humble me. Meanwhile, I stumbled, fell and got scraped up being falsely humble, prideful, self conscious and non-confident.

I tried so hard but I got it so wrong.

I thought being humble meant making myself lower than other people. So I thought myself worse than others. Anytime I felt a shred of self assurance, I chased it away because I thought I was being prideful. I thought true humility meant feeling bad about myself.

But that’s not it at all.

It just means properly placing my confidence in Christ. Not in me. Not in my friends. Not in my family. Not in my talents, time and treasures. But in Christ.

And, since I’m in Christ, I’m confident because I trust His provision, guidance and protection. I often don’t have much faith in myself, but I for certain have a ton of faith in God and what He can accomplish.

And, like a loving Father should, He reminds me that He accomplishes things through me so I should have faith in myself just because He’s involved in what’s going on in me and with me.

That, my readers, is excellent.