Guess what!?! Another blog about money.

I can understand why God said what He said about serving two masters–God and money. They really do compete with each other.

Allow me to explain. I’m currently in the fundraising stage for my trip to the Dominican Republic. I’ve received one check thus far. Although I am thankful for that, I also realize I’ve got a long way to go.

I used to live in Nebraska. Now I live in Tennessee. Many of my support letters were sent to folks in Nebraska. I understand the United States Postal Service takes awhile. Things take a week to get where they’re going rather than a few days. So I understand there is a delay due to the mail and the distance. I’m trying to roll with that.

My roommate, who is also going on this trip, has lived in Tennessee all her life. Just last week, she went to her old church and her brothers’ church to fundraise. She came home with about $700. I am thrilled for her that her fundraising trip went well! However, meanwhile, I am battling thoughts of comparison. I keep thinking to myself, “I wish I could go back to the church I went to as a kid and ask for money. I bet I’d get a lot. And all in one day. I wouldn’t have to wait for letters to come in either.”

One of my greatest mental battles is comparison. If I’m not careful, I constantly compare myself to others. I size them up. Put them down. Lift them up. Over and over and over again. Though that’s a normal thing to do for most people, it is not a biblical thing to do.

In the Bible, God says that we need to compare ourselves to His standard and not compare ourselves to other people. So I should not compare my fundraising results with those of my roommate. But wow! I am oh-s0-tempted to do that all the time. I’m am currently enduring a mental barrage from Satan with that particular issue.

I am also enduring a mental attack of fear and worry. Fear that I won’t receive the money I need to go. Fear that I’ll miss fundraising deadlines. Fear that I didn’t put enough effort in to my fundraising. 

God says that perfect love casts out fear. He also says that worrying does not add even an hour to my life, so I don’t need to worry. Yet that is what I’m dealing with now. Last night, for example, I was attacked by the enemy in that area. My sleep was interrupted and delayed because of thoughts of worry.

James chapter 1 says that we need to be doers of the Word and not just hearers. So though I know I’m not supposed to worry and fear, that’s not enough. I also need to stop doing those things. It’s not enough to just realize that fear and worry are bad. I, instead, need to be a person of faith and peace.

Last week, I heard a sermon on unbelief. That’s a big issue under hot contention within my mind right now. 

Unbelief is thinking I won’t receive all the funds. Unbelief is worrying. Unbelief is spending my days in fear.

Belief is knowing that God will provide. Belief is living full of faith. Belief is enjoying days and nights in peace.

Unbelief is a passive destruction of faith.

Belief is an active war for faith. 

It’s annoying how alluring and easy unbelief is. It’s so easy to hide in a dark corner of our mind in an effort of self preservation. We think it’s not harmful to be full of doubt and be surprised when something works out for us. That right there is deceptive thinking.

Here’s the truth. The God that created the world out of nothing–FROM NOTHING–lives inside of me. The Holy Spirit was present when the world was created. And now the Holy Spirit is inside of me. It’s at work inside of me. The same God that raised Jesus from the dead…that Holy Spirit is inside of me. And, it’s not just a portion of the Holy Spirit. God is infinite. Infinity cannot be reduced. The infinite God and His power lives inside of me.

And yet, I have the worried fear to doubt Him and His ability?!? Does that even make sense? It does not. Yet it seems safer to doubt Him.

If God can create the world out of nothing (and He can; He did), then He can provide me $1400. He can spur His people to send me a check. He can protect me. He can give me sleep-filled, peaceful nights. 

It is not safe to live in unbelief. God disciplines people who live in unbelief. God rewards people who believe. Although I’m glad God disciplines His children, I don’t want to enter into a time of discipline because of my unbelief.

So here I am writing this blog. As an active measure of faith. To say, “Yes, God. I believe you will provide. Help my unbelief.”