When I was a child, I used to watch a Ray Stevens tape.   He’s a singer/comedian, if you don’t know.  One of his songs was “Santa Claus Is Watching You.”  At least I think that’s what it’s called.

In the video, there was a little elf and a Santa Claus.  The words that I can remember are, “Cuz Santa Claus is watching you.  (He’s everywhere!  He’s everywhere!).”  The little elf would say the “He’s everywhere!” part. 

Oh..here are a few others, “You can’t do nothin’ cuz you’re never alone.  You even got a wire tap on your phone.”

Bear with me.  There is a point to this.

The point is that I’m feeling very scrutinized right now.  I feel like people are watching me.  They’re everywhere!  They’re everywhere! 

Warning: Vulnerability Moment. 

*clears throat*

I’m feeling watched.  I’m feeling judged.  I’m feeling criticized. 

It seems that every person’s dream at one point was to be famous.  To be in the limelight and to be known and noticed.

However, being around the music business (living near Nashville) and even knowing a few artists on a quasi-personal level…I’ve realized that I actually don’t want to be famous.  It’s not fun to watch as other people discuss your character without your input.

Famous people are uberly scrutinized these days.  Some folks could tell you the day-to-day events of Britney Spears with extreme factual precision. 

Recent events in my life have really caused me to take a break and step back.  I think it’s so easy for people to discuss/dissect the lives of famous people because there’s this separation.  The famous people aren’t actually relateable, so it’s easy to talk about them like they are emotionless beings.  Truth is…they aren’t.  I’m sure Britney or Owen Wilson (insert whatever other star you like/don’t like) have seen a tabloid featuring their face at some point.

But when the writers of those “scoop” words write that stuff, they don’t have their subjects in mind.

It’s so crazy that news and gossip and posted words can dehumanize a person…thus making them into an object.

A subjective opinion about an object is formed.

Don’t you think that it should be different?  That there should be compassionate concerns for people, not subjective opinions on objects?

I do.

In my head, I always knew how it was gonna be.  I had it all planned out.  I knew what I would be doing and whom I would be doing it with.  It was exciting.  It was new. 

It was all in my head.

I’m taking a class through my church called “Freedom In Christ.”  I had to take a spiritual inventory as my first assignment.  One of the questions asked if I had ever fantacized about something. 

The answer, of course, was yes.  I’ve fantacized about going on a roller coaster ride somewhere.  Or riding along somewhere on a boat.  Harmless things, really.

Apparently not.  The point my church is trying to make is that we need to accept the reality we have.  If we fantacize about being somewhere else with someone else doing something else, it means that we aren’t accepting the current situation that God’s given us. 

 I never thought of it that way.

 I remember being so disappointed so much as a child when things didn’t turn out the way that I wanted them to.  If a conversation didn’t happen the way I envisioned it.  Or if my relationship with someone didn’t pan out ideally.  I had so many pre-conceived notions about what course my life would take.

And they were usually wrong notions.

Unfortunately, I got notion-ish before I moved to Tennessee.  I thought things would be different.  I thought I’d know different people better.  I thought I’d have more time with my roommate.  I thought I’d have more money.  I thought I’d have closer relationships with the folks down here.  I thought I’d have a heightened status in many areas of my life because I lived here.

I was wrong.  So wrong.  And I have been disappointed because of it.

I have thought several times, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.  It’s not how I envisioned it.”

I hear God say, “Yes.  You’re right.  This isn’t what you wanted.  This is what I know is the best for you.”

 Sometimes I am so selfish.  The reason I am so disappointed in so many of my life’s outcomes is because my expectations were based on my human self.  As a human I am imperfect, thus my expectations in my life will fail.

I can’t base my hopes and dreams on what I think would be the best.  Instead I need to build my life on the foundation of God and the promises that He’s made.  God’s promises are the only expectations that will come to fruition. 

Impress me with your humble, Christ-centered life, not with your schmoozing and desire for status elevation.