In my head, I always knew how it was gonna be. I had it all planned out. I knew what I would be doing and whom I would be doing it with. It was exciting. It was new.
It was all in my head.
I’m taking a class through my church called “Freedom In Christ.” I had to take a spiritual inventory as my first assignment. One of the questions asked if I had ever fantacized about something.
The answer, of course, was yes. I’ve fantacized about going on a roller coaster ride somewhere. Or riding along somewhere on a boat. Harmless things, really.
Apparently not. The point my church is trying to make is that we need to accept the reality we have. If we fantacize about being somewhere else with someone else doing something else, it means that we aren’t accepting the current situation that God’s given us.
I never thought of it that way.
I remember being so disappointed so much as a child when things didn’t turn out the way that I wanted them to. If a conversation didn’t happen the way I envisioned it. Or if my relationship with someone didn’t pan out ideally. I had so many pre-conceived notions about what course my life would take.
And they were usually wrong notions.
Unfortunately, I got notion-ish before I moved to Tennessee. I thought things would be different. I thought I’d know different people better. I thought I’d have more time with my roommate. I thought I’d have more money. I thought I’d have closer relationships with the folks down here. I thought I’d have a heightened status in many areas of my life because I lived here.
I was wrong. So wrong. And I have been disappointed because of it.
I have thought several times, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. It’s not how I envisioned it.”
I hear God say, “Yes. You’re right. This isn’t what you wanted. This is what I know is the best for you.”
Sometimes I am so selfish. The reason I am so disappointed in so many of my life’s outcomes is because my expectations were based on my human self. As a human I am imperfect, thus my expectations in my life will fail.
I can’t base my hopes and dreams on what I think would be the best. Instead I need to build my life on the foundation of God and the promises that He’s made. God’s promises are the only expectations that will come to fruition.