Tag Archives: trust

What Is Knew?

What do I know?  What’s there that I knew?

What’s knew is I’ve been learning a lot from my church lately.  There’s always something that I could blog about but whenever I’m really pensive it’s never when I’m at a computer.  And a BlackBerry really isn’t the best tool for writing a long blog.

So, bullet-point-esque as it is, here’s a quick run down…

1. I lost one job and got another.  (Doesn’t it seem like I’m always talking about jobs?  Feels like that to me.)  I was working as a Human Resources Assistant for about two months.  That’s what I started doing after my four month employment hiatus.  However, that job was temporary and its tempness ran out.  Thankfully, my manager told me a week ahead of time that my assignment was ending.  So, I applied at local grocery stores, banks, retail stores, etc.  I was willing to do pretty much anything to serve my community, even if it meant working as a cashier though I have a college degree.

However, my former boss (the one I had while working at CCM Magazine) called me up and offered me contract work at her current job.  She was laid off from CCM a little while before I was.  So, thank the Lord, I am now working again as a Search Engine Optimization Specialist.  Basically I help make websites more search engine friendly.  It’s fun.  It combines math and English.  It’s always interesting.  If you need any SEO help, I’m your girl.  🙂

The weekend after I found out my temp job was ending, a little bit of worry crept in.  You are aware of how the economy is right now.  Although I believe in God and trust His provision in my life, it’s sooooooo easy to fall into worry and concern over my financial future.  However, one evening while I was taking my dog for a stroll, God really spoke to me.  He said, “Lindsay, you have to believe Me for Who I am.  I am not a God of doubt or anxiety or fear.  I am a God of trust, faithfulness, belief and faith.  If you are believing in fear, worry and anxiety, then I can’t help you because I am not those things.  But if you believe and have faith for provision, protection and promotion, then I can deliver those things.  I can’t and won’t compromise My character so you need to trust me for who I AM.” 

That was a revelation!  God can’t deliver doubt.  He can’t deliver fear.  Cuz those things are not His character.  He can deliver aspects of who He is but cannot deliver aspects of who He is not.  Glorious revelation.

I also received another dog-walking revelation a week or so ago.  As my dog was doing his business, I prophesying over my life and speaking truth over my unemployed situation.  (Obviously, at that time, I did not yet know of the Search Engine Optimization job.)  I was walking around on the cold night and saying things like, “God will provide.  I am in His will.  I am walking obediently.  I am under His hand of blessing.” 

Soon, counter thoughts came in from the Enemy.  “You can’t trust God to come through for you.  Look at the economy.  You’re going to be unemployed again.  You’ll never get another job right now.  In fact, you are speaking in pride when you say God will provide.  You’re being conceited.  You are supposed to be humble.  God will oppose this.”

And, God (through the Holy Spirit) replied, “Whoa, whoa…wait a minute here.  Trusting Me is not prideful.  In fact, it’s humble.  What’s the definition of humility, Lindsay?”

“Humility is confidence properly placed in Christ,” I said.

“That’s right.” He replied, joyfully.  “So, if humility is confidence properly placed in Me and I oppose the proud and give grace to the humble, then there is nothing wrong or prideful with trusting in Me.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed.

“Exactly.” He responded.

There’s nothing wrong with trusting God completely because He is entirely faithful to provide. 

Another lie from Satan refuted.  Another thought victory won.

2. The Church as a whole is suffering from Bible illiteracy.  That’s a big one, folks.  A big one.  So big that it may offend some of you as readers.  And, if you are offended by that, then it supports my point of being Bible illiterate.  Cuz the Bible says not to take offense. 🙂

But seriously though.  There isn’t enough Fear of the Lord in the Church today.  People don’t revere God.  People are not really in awe of Him.  And they are espeically not in awe of His Word, i.e. the Bible. 

It’s known as “The Good Book.”  If the book’s so good then why do so few people read it?  Why does no one study it and pore over the words on the pages like they pore over Harry Potter, Twilight or a Mark Twain novel?  I am speaking with exaggerated words here when I say “no one.”  But on the grand scale, it seems like no one.

I’m not just speaking to you all.  I’m also reminding myself.  I admit/confess that I do not know the Bible as well as I need to.  I will be pursuing the Word with more purpose and focus from now on.

3. I had five points a minute ago and the last three somehow got deleted because I was typing so fast and then suddenly it was gone.  I hate it when that happens.  (The things I go through for you, Abi.)

4. We officially launched New Song Murfreesboro (http://www.new-song.com) on October 26.  We meet in a movie theater.  It’s awesome to have a full-time Sunday morning church after over a year of preparation.

5. I led worship at Life Group (our church’s small group ministry) for the first time last Wednesday.  It was awesome!  It’s a humbling and awe-inspiring experience to lead worship.  I love it.  I’m excited to grow in this area.

6. My interest for marriage has been piqued.  I sense that I’m ready to move into a marriage season.  No I’m not dating.  No I’m not courting.  However, I want to do those things.  I mean…almost every single person wants to be un-single to some degree.  But I really am sensing a desire for marriage rising up inside of me.  I’m not discontent with being single.  I don’t hate being single.  I’m not even complaining.  But I am saying that I do want to get married some day.  And I hope that day comes soon.  *nod*

7. I think I’m done.  After the fiasco of losing half this blog, I better quit while these words are still here.

Guided Aimlessness

I lost my job today.

It was totally unexpected.  And it wasn’t my fault.  They told me that it was because of business reasons.  The company’s not doing so hot and the economy isn’t either.  Therefore, here I am sitting at home without the thought of having to go to work tomorrow.

I’m not upset about losing my job.  I know that God will (and has and will continue to) take care of me.  He’s my provider and provision. 

I know that I’ll “land on my feet.”  I know I’m capable and qualified.  I know that there’s something better out there waiting for me. 

The thing that I don’t know right now is what exactly I’m supposed to do.  I don’t know if I should stay in the web/publishing business.  I don’t know if I should work in Nashville or here in Murf. 

I’ve already applied for several jobs online.  Yet I have to fight that feeling that I haven’t done enough to find a new place to work.  Nagging thoughts of uselessness and laziness hit my brain every few minutes. 

I’ve worked at several different places.  I’ve been a Certified Nursing Assistant, Flagger Girl, Copy Editor, Editor, Photographer, Writer, Resident Assistant, Front Desk Worker, Cashier and Stocker.

I absolultely loved my last job.  I thought it would be the thing I would do for a good portion of my life.  And now I’m not so sure about that.

I totally trust that God is directing my path, but right now I’m lacking on revelation on where to go next.  I need to delve into the Bible and stay in constant prayer about this.

I’m elated to report that I’ve received tons of support from my friends and family.  I’m so thrilled to know that they are lifting me up in prayer and that they’ll also seek direction from God on how I should proceed.

As I was considering things today, I realized that I’d been prideful again.  I thought I was better than people because I had a first shift job, was on salary, had a 401K and got a lot of free stuff.  I elevated myself above others because of the job I had. 

I know that it’s not right to do that, but there’s a fine line between being excited about the things I’ve accomplished and judging other people.  I often err on the side of judging and taking too much credit for myself and not giving it to God.  I’ve repented for that but I need to make significant change in that area.

Parts of me wonder if this job loss is a result of my pride.

Well, fortunately, now I’ve got lots of time to really seek God.