Guided Aimlessness

I lost my job today.

It was totally unexpected.  And it wasn’t my fault.  They told me that it was because of business reasons.  The company’s not doing so hot and the economy isn’t either.  Therefore, here I am sitting at home without the thought of having to go to work tomorrow.

I’m not upset about losing my job.  I know that God will (and has and will continue to) take care of me.  He’s my provider and provision. 

I know that I’ll “land on my feet.”  I know I’m capable and qualified.  I know that there’s something better out there waiting for me. 

The thing that I don’t know right now is what exactly I’m supposed to do.  I don’t know if I should stay in the web/publishing business.  I don’t know if I should work in Nashville or here in Murf. 

I’ve already applied for several jobs online.  Yet I have to fight that feeling that I haven’t done enough to find a new place to work.  Nagging thoughts of uselessness and laziness hit my brain every few minutes. 

I’ve worked at several different places.  I’ve been a Certified Nursing Assistant, Flagger Girl, Copy Editor, Editor, Photographer, Writer, Resident Assistant, Front Desk Worker, Cashier and Stocker.

I absolultely loved my last job.  I thought it would be the thing I would do for a good portion of my life.  And now I’m not so sure about that.

I totally trust that God is directing my path, but right now I’m lacking on revelation on where to go next.  I need to delve into the Bible and stay in constant prayer about this.

I’m elated to report that I’ve received tons of support from my friends and family.  I’m so thrilled to know that they are lifting me up in prayer and that they’ll also seek direction from God on how I should proceed.

As I was considering things today, I realized that I’d been prideful again.  I thought I was better than people because I had a first shift job, was on salary, had a 401K and got a lot of free stuff.  I elevated myself above others because of the job I had. 

I know that it’s not right to do that, but there’s a fine line between being excited about the things I’ve accomplished and judging other people.  I often err on the side of judging and taking too much credit for myself and not giving it to God.  I’ve repented for that but I need to make significant change in that area.

Parts of me wonder if this job loss is a result of my pride.

Well, fortunately, now I’ve got lots of time to really seek God. 

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