Author: Lindsay

Disciple of Christ. Writer. Laugher. Friend.
Fulfillment

Fulfillment

by Lindsay ♥ 3 Comments

As promised, I shall write about something God was speaking to me on Sunday.  Honestly, as I wracked my brain trying to remember that specific thing to write this blog, I couldn’t remember.  Every time that I read the Bible, God reveals something new to me.  So each day, there’s a new revelation.  It’s wonderful.  My church really promotes reading the Bible every day and reading the whole Bible in its entirety every year.  I’m a firm believer in that, as well.  If you’ve never read the whole Bible, I recommend it.  And no, don’t give me that, “The Old Testament is boring and I don’t get it,” junk.  There is SO much in the Old Testament!  It is so interesting!  Everything in the Old Testament points to Jesus and the coming of the Messiah.  It’s amazing.  Ask God to reveal things to you when you read the Bible and He will.  Simple.

On to what I learned on Sunday!  My pastor was talking about how often the words fulfill and fulfillment are used in Matthew.  Jesus is the fulfillment of the Old Testament (OT).  Jesus fulfilled God’s wrath.  Jesus fulfills everything we need. 

Hold up!  Stop right there.  Jesus fulfills everything we need.  That sentence stops me.  It stopped me Sunday and it stops me now.  I’ve been asking myself, “Does Jesus really fulfill me?  Am I content with Him?  Or am I fruitlessly pursuing other, empty, never satisfying things?”

Sadly, the answer for that query is that Jesus often doesn’t fulfill me.  He’s more than able to do that, but I don’t let Him.  I’m so busy chasing after things I think will fulfill that He doesn’t even get the opportunity.  Take food, for example.  Tons of people eat to try and fill a void.  I used to do that.  If I’m not careful, I still do that.  People hunger for attention and affection, so they eat food.  Does that make sense?  No.  Not at all. 

Another area of fulfillment is lust.  Lust is a product of the flesh.  The flesh always wants something.  Bigger, better, more expensive, more sleek, more interesting stuff.  The flesh, in the biblical standpoint, is the opposite of the Spirit.  Spirit is of God.  Flesh is of fallen man.   The flesh never stops lusting.  So, how would I stop lusting?  I’d have to live in the Spirit and let God be my fulfillment.

I often lust for candy or pop or new, expensive gadgets.  And now, instead of relentlessly pursuing those things until I get them, I’m going to seek God first.  Lust is only a quest for fulfillment.  Jesus fulfills everything I’ll ever need.  So, instead of chasing the object, I’m going to chase God.  Chasing lust is empty.  

It’s natural to hunger for fulfillment.  But it’s not healthy to hunger for material things.  I need to take my natural hunger and turn it toward something fulfilling: Jesus.

Here’s how I’m going to apply this:  The next time I’m really lusting after something, I’m going to immediately start praying and read the Bible.  I’m going to fill myself with things that satisfy.  I know I’ll feel full after a time of intimacy with Jesus.  

Well, that’s it.  That was my giant revelation.    May seem simplistic but I think it’s profound.

Re-Lapse

Re-Lapse

by Lindsay ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I let the blog lapse again. Sorry, all. I went home for Christmas so I was pretty busy living life. I’d rather spend time with people face to face than keep my blog totally accurate. Seems like the right thing to do.

The Holy Spirit revealed something to me at church today. I will most likely blog about that a little later because I think it’s so revalationary. It’s definitely something I’ve been thinking about all day.

Happy New Year!

Idolness

Idolness

by Lindsay ♥ 5 Comments

I’m watching the Tennessee Titans play the New York Jets at LP Field in Nashville.

The Titans are 10-0 right now and are currently losing to the Jets. Maybe they’ll be 10-1 after this is over. Maybe they’ll be 11-0. It’d be nice to stay undefeated but I really don’t care that much if they lose or win. I just cheer for the Titans cuz I live in Nashville.

A few minutes ago, the Jets scored to make the score 20-3 in favor of the Jets. After catching the football, the touchdown-acquiring receiver ran out of the back of the end zone. Fans quickly started slapping his pads and patting him on the back in praise for what he’d done.

While watching that scene, something struck me. Fans clamor to touch famous people. Famous athletes. Famous actors. Famous musicians. Famous folks. We’ve all seen mobs of fanish individuals hound and surround the prey of their feverish attention and devotion. All of this energy and focus goes into just touching someone famous. Or talking to someone famous. Or trying to develop a relationship with someone famous.

I’m a people watcher so I notice this sort of thing a lot. And, since I live in Nashville, I’ve got ample opportunities to see the fans interact with the famous. It’s mesmerizing to watch a fan pour out all of their love for the famous in mere seconds. Because that’s all they have. Fifteen seconds to tell a football player he’s awesome before he runs away to the sidelines. Thirty seconds to declare unending devotion to a drummer in an autograph line before the security guard ushers in the next fan.

After a momentous (and I say momentous because it contains the word moment, implying a short amount of time) encounter with someone famous, a fan can be on a high for hours, days, weeks, months and even years. A moment becomes a lifelong memory. A moment that the famous person will probably not even remember will be forever inscribed on the mind of the fan.

Does all of this seem weird to you? Does it appear extreme? It should. That’s what I’m going for. I hope you felt awkward when reading about the fan/famous relationship.

I know this has been said before, but it’s weird and wrong and backwards to watch thousands of people scream praises to athletes/musicians/actors and accept that as normal. Human hero worship is not normal. It’s abnormal. it’s not the way it’s supposed to be.

We were created to worship God. The only (once) human we should worship is Jesus. It should feel and appear and look normal to worship God. Yet, to most, it doesn’t. Most people feel awkward worshiping God publicly. Most won’t scream praises as loud as they can to their Creator.

Even I feel that. I feel compelled to scream as loud as I can at a football game to try and spur on my team to victory. Yet, in church, when my pastor instructs me to show God my praise and thanksgiving for what He’s done in my life, something holds me back. Something constrains my total volume of gratitude toward God.

Maybe it’s the age-old unwritten rule that I’m supposed to be quietly reserved, respectful and reverent in church that stops me. *shrug* Probably.

Let’s put it in perspective. Jesus Christ enduring the crucifying cross as payment for my sin is way more praise-worthy than a Titan scoring a touchdown. WAY MORE. The touchdown doesn’t eternally matter. Jesus’ sacrifice does.

Back in the day (as in when Jesus was alive) people really did clamor just to touch the hem of His garment. They knew they’d be healed if they touched Him. I wonder if most of the world has forgotten that time in history. I know things would be different if people started remembering how powerful God’s healing is.

As my last blog said, there’s a huge Bible illiteracy epidemic. If more people read the Bible and worked to understand it, they’d remember how heralded Jesus was. If Christians weren’t so irrelevant and actually lived their lives in relevant reverence of God, then people would see that only God should be worshiped. Biblical Christians know that God has healing power and they walk in that healing power. They administer His healing power. They testify to His healing power. That’s life changing. That’s eternal.

The football game is now over.  The undefeated Titans just lost. Now thousands of fans are upset with them. Now they are held in less reverence.

God never loses. He never makes mistakes. His will and timing are perfect. The Father, Son and the Holy Spirit are the undefeated Team. Hold Them in reverence. Worship Them. Do everything you can to encounter Them.

Don’t set your sights and desires on the idols of this world. They will only disappoint you.

You either swallow the Enemy or let him out

You either swallow the Enemy or let him out

by Lindsay ♥ 2 Comments

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you’ll probably remember a few posts about my prayer walks at MTSU (the local college).  If you haven’t been a faithful reader, then I’ll explain.  Basically, I took prayer walks on the MTSU campus all summer long.  I also continued to take them after school started up again.  Well, after I started working at the temp agency, I didn’t take the walks as often as I wanted to.  And, I eventually stopped a little over a month ago.

Since I stopped prayer walking, there have been two shootings and one stabbing on campus.  Knowing I hadn’t prayer walked in so long and hearing about all of those violent things happening really convicted me.  So, today I Trikked to campus and took some time to pray and seek God for specific scripture for the campus/my life/the city/the church.

And, as always, God did not disappoint.  While there, I had a great time of prayer and I also received a few awesome scriptures. 

1 Samuel 2:1-10 — What first caught my attention was verse 10.  “The adversaries of the Lord shall be broken in pieces.”  While thinking about all of the violence on campus, it was comforting to read that all of the evil that was so prevalent would be destroyed.  I was reading these verses in the New Spirit Filled Life (NSFL) Bible.  It’s the New King James Version.  The NSFL Bible has great explanations, especially for verse one.  The verse says, “I smile at my enemies…”  The explanation for that verse said it was a cross reference for another verse that means an open mouth devouring enemies. 

My next scripture was Isaiah 29:9-24.  It talks about praising God with lip service but not sincerely praising Him.  It’s idle religion without an honest relationship with God.

And finally, I was led to Psalm 111 and 112.  Psalm 111 is an example of the correct way to praise God as a congregation.  Psalm 112 talks about delighting in the Lord (i.e. smiling at Him).

After reading all of this scripture God gave me two visions.

One was of an open, smiling mouth of praise that devoured the Enemy (as the 1 Samuel passage said).

The second was of a mouth speaking the words of the Enemy: idle religion, division, disunity and lies like that of the people in the Isaiah scripture.

The church of America has become irrelevant.  It’s like the people in Isaiah.  Idle religion.  Lip service. 

The church of America needs to be like the 1 Samuel passage and those two Psalms.  We need to delight in the Lord.  We need to smile at Him and, consequently, devour our Enemy. 

The tongue speaks life and death.  The mouth either devours or releases the Enemy.

What Is Knew?

What Is Knew?

by Lindsay ♥ 2 Comments

What do I know?  What’s there that I knew?

What’s knew is I’ve been learning a lot from my church lately.  There’s always something that I could blog about but whenever I’m really pensive it’s never when I’m at a computer.  And a BlackBerry really isn’t the best tool for writing a long blog.

So, bullet-point-esque as it is, here’s a quick run down…

1. I lost one job and got another.  (Doesn’t it seem like I’m always talking about jobs?  Feels like that to me.)  I was working as a Human Resources Assistant for about two months.  That’s what I started doing after my four month employment hiatus.  However, that job was temporary and its tempness ran out.  Thankfully, my manager told me a week ahead of time that my assignment was ending.  So, I applied at local grocery stores, banks, retail stores, etc.  I was willing to do pretty much anything to serve my community, even if it meant working as a cashier though I have a college degree.

However, my former boss (the one I had while working at CCM Magazine) called me up and offered me contract work at her current job.  She was laid off from CCM a little while before I was.  So, thank the Lord, I am now working again as a Search Engine Optimization Specialist.  Basically I help make websites more search engine friendly.  It’s fun.  It combines math and English.  It’s always interesting.  If you need any SEO help, I’m your girl.  🙂

The weekend after I found out my temp job was ending, a little bit of worry crept in.  You are aware of how the economy is right now.  Although I believe in God and trust His provision in my life, it’s sooooooo easy to fall into worry and concern over my financial future.  However, one evening while I was taking my dog for a stroll, God really spoke to me.  He said, “Lindsay, you have to believe Me for Who I am.  I am not a God of doubt or anxiety or fear.  I am a God of trust, faithfulness, belief and faith.  If you are believing in fear, worry and anxiety, then I can’t help you because I am not those things.  But if you believe and have faith for provision, protection and promotion, then I can deliver those things.  I can’t and won’t compromise My character so you need to trust me for who I AM.” 

That was a revelation!  God can’t deliver doubt.  He can’t deliver fear.  Cuz those things are not His character.  He can deliver aspects of who He is but cannot deliver aspects of who He is not.  Glorious revelation.

I also received another dog-walking revelation a week or so ago.  As my dog was doing his business, I prophesying over my life and speaking truth over my unemployed situation.  (Obviously, at that time, I did not yet know of the Search Engine Optimization job.)  I was walking around on the cold night and saying things like, “God will provide.  I am in His will.  I am walking obediently.  I am under His hand of blessing.” 

Soon, counter thoughts came in from the Enemy.  “You can’t trust God to come through for you.  Look at the economy.  You’re going to be unemployed again.  You’ll never get another job right now.  In fact, you are speaking in pride when you say God will provide.  You’re being conceited.  You are supposed to be humble.  God will oppose this.”

And, God (through the Holy Spirit) replied, “Whoa, whoa…wait a minute here.  Trusting Me is not prideful.  In fact, it’s humble.  What’s the definition of humility, Lindsay?”

“Humility is confidence properly placed in Christ,” I said.

“That’s right.” He replied, joyfully.  “So, if humility is confidence properly placed in Me and I oppose the proud and give grace to the humble, then there is nothing wrong or prideful with trusting in Me.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed.

“Exactly.” He responded.

There’s nothing wrong with trusting God completely because He is entirely faithful to provide. 

Another lie from Satan refuted.  Another thought victory won.

2. The Church as a whole is suffering from Bible illiteracy.  That’s a big one, folks.  A big one.  So big that it may offend some of you as readers.  And, if you are offended by that, then it supports my point of being Bible illiterate.  Cuz the Bible says not to take offense. 🙂

But seriously though.  There isn’t enough Fear of the Lord in the Church today.  People don’t revere God.  People are not really in awe of Him.  And they are espeically not in awe of His Word, i.e. the Bible. 

It’s known as “The Good Book.”  If the book’s so good then why do so few people read it?  Why does no one study it and pore over the words on the pages like they pore over Harry Potter, Twilight or a Mark Twain novel?  I am speaking with exaggerated words here when I say “no one.”  But on the grand scale, it seems like no one.

I’m not just speaking to you all.  I’m also reminding myself.  I admit/confess that I do not know the Bible as well as I need to.  I will be pursuing the Word with more purpose and focus from now on.

3. I had five points a minute ago and the last three somehow got deleted because I was typing so fast and then suddenly it was gone.  I hate it when that happens.  (The things I go through for you, Abi.)

4. We officially launched New Song Murfreesboro (http://www.new-song.com) on October 26.  We meet in a movie theater.  It’s awesome to have a full-time Sunday morning church after over a year of preparation.

5. I led worship at Life Group (our church’s small group ministry) for the first time last Wednesday.  It was awesome!  It’s a humbling and awe-inspiring experience to lead worship.  I love it.  I’m excited to grow in this area.

6. My interest for marriage has been piqued.  I sense that I’m ready to move into a marriage season.  No I’m not dating.  No I’m not courting.  However, I want to do those things.  I mean…almost every single person wants to be un-single to some degree.  But I really am sensing a desire for marriage rising up inside of me.  I’m not discontent with being single.  I don’t hate being single.  I’m not even complaining.  But I am saying that I do want to get married some day.  And I hope that day comes soon.  *nod*

7. I think I’m done.  After the fiasco of losing half this blog, I better quit while these words are still here.

Things I’ve Learned

Things I’ve Learned

by Lindsay ♥ 2 Comments

I shouldn’t sulk when denying my flesh
I should take joy in suffering for Christ
Submission under God’s mighty hand is victory, not defeat
God’s plans are infinitely better than anything I could ever come up with
God is my provider; however, I need to approach Him and ask of Him expectantly
Waiting is an active process; my part is expectation and following God’s directions

Sow What?

Sow What?

by Lindsay ♥ 3 Comments

First off, I mean sow in the sense of reap and sow and not sow in the sense of a pig.  Not the sow that rhymes with cow.

I’ve been faithfully sowing into God’s Kingdom via tithes and offerings to various things at various times.  However, I am still struggling financially to even pay for my own things.  I firmly believe that I need to give 10% of my firstfruits to the church.  And I do that.  I do it gladly and with joy.

However, I am living in a world that does not live by God’s principles.  I am living in a country that is receiving the brunt of God’s judgment because this nation has been disobedient, prideful and idolatrous.

I am living by the Kingdom economy, but the world economy still has an effect on me. 

So this is my way of expressing myself because America’s disobedience affects me personally.  I will still continue to sow into the Kingdom.  I know I am blessed and will be blessed for doing so.  I am faithfully waiting to reap the fruit of my sowing.

I’ve Become What I Aspire Not To Be

I’ve Become What I Aspire Not To Be

by Lindsay ♥ 2 Comments

I’ve become what I aspire not to be: a lax blogger.

I love surfing around and reading peoples’ blogs.  It’s exciting to me to read about all the goings on in the lives of my friends.

Somewhere along the line, I got off track with updating my own blog.

I’ll be frank with you…I think it’s cheesy and cliche to not blog for a really long time and then come back and write a blog about how bad of a blogger you are.  And yet, here I am doing that very thing.

It’s amusing to me that people admit things like that.  People who read the blog are already aware that the person has not blogged in a long time.  So why talk about it?  Although, I also find it gratifying to read someone’s web apology for a lack of blogging.  *shrug*

Moving on.  What have I learned lately?  Well, the biggest thing I’ve learned is that humility is a personal responsibility.  “What’s that mean, Lindsay?”  It means that humility is something that always needs to be tended.  It always needs to be cultivated.  It always needs to be pursued.  It always needs to be monitored.  It always needs attention.

To me, responsibility means all those things I listed above.  Humility can’t be apathetic because apathetic humility leads to pride.  A lack of care for humility leads to an excess growth of pride.

For all of my life as a commited follower of Christ, I’ve struggled with humility.  I would either be totally lacking in confidence, thinking of myself as totally unworthy of anything.  Or, I’d be completely overconfident and haughty.  Instead of finding balance in the middle, I’d teeter and fall from one side to the other.

After I moved to TN, I started attending New Song Christian Fellowship.  My pastor teaches that “humility is confidence properly placed in Christ.”  So, with humility there can be confidence, but it needs to be placed in Christ.  Not in the flesh.

That makes it so simple.  It’s not about shoving down confidence.  It’s not about bolstering confidence.  It’s about placing it in the right place.  When I fully realize that God is the One who will never fail and He is the only thing worthy of total faith and devotion, that brings me low.  Not low in a bad way.  But just lower in comparison to His awesome glory and splendor.  It elevates Him above me and puts me in my place.  A place of humble submission to His direction and plan.  It also takes the pressure off me to portray a flawless facade.

Back to personal responsibility.  My perspective of that has changed.  I used to be focused on keeping up appearances or scrambling to make myself not feel worthless.  Now I realize it’s my responsibility to stay humbly submitted under God’s hand. 

That pretty much sums it up.  I’ve learned other things, but that concept is resounding the loudest in my head.  Hopefully it will create a ping in your head, too.

It’s the most wonderful time to blog…

It’s the most wonderful time to blog…

by Lindsay ♥ 2 Comments

Although this blog has not been updated recently, many things have ocurred.  Perhaps that’s why the blog has been neglected.  Hmmm…maybe so.

Here’s a recap:

1. I got a job.  Albeit temporary.  It is still a job.  I work for a personnel service in their office.  I’m a Human Resources Assistant.  I do not know how long this job will last.  Could be a month.  Could be until December.  The wonderful thing is I can quit with a two day notice if another, more stable job comes up.

2. I am still pursuing work at the local college.  I just applied for another job the other day for the media department of the athletic program.  I am truly contending for that specific job in prayer.  It’s something I’m qualified for and something that excites me.

3. I bought a Trikke.  It’s a three-wheeled, human-powered, fun, fitness machine.  It’s comprable to a scooter/roller blades/bike/skiiing.  It’s rather hard to explain.  Here’s a link to a website where you can buy the Trikke if you are interested.  I am a Trikke affiliate.  If you order the Trikke from this site, be sure to use the Promotional Code 595.  It should already be loaded with that code, but if not, make sure it is.  Here’s the link: http://www.trikketampastore.com/595.html.  In the near future, I’ll post a video and/or pictures of me riding the Trikke on my YouTube and this blog.  But before I document me on my new ride, I must become more skilled at riding the Trikke.  It’s relatively easy to learn how to ride, but it still takes time to perfect my technique. 

4. My church satellite congregation is almost ready to launch into Sunday mornings.  Since April, we’ve been having church in the afternoon in another church’s building because we’re in the launching stage.  But, in October, we will be ready to start meeting on Sunday mornings.  It’s very exciting.  I’ve never taken part in a church plant before.  It’s thrilling, yet challenging stuff.  In October, we will meet in a movie theater because it’s a feasible option for this time.  I’ve also never gone to church in a movie theater.

5. I’ve been singing background vocals on the worship team since April.  Very soon, I’ll be trained in how to lead worship at Life Group (a small group Bible study).  After that, I’ll be trained further in leading worship on Sundays.  Exciting stuff in the realm of worship!

6. BarlowGirl’s brand new CD Home For Christmas comes out September 23rd. If/when you see it in stores, you should definitely buy it.  Why?  Because the CD is awesome and so is BarlowGirl.  But also because I am singing on the CD.  I am in the choir that sang on the CD.  So whenever you hear the choir, then you’re also hearing me.  It was such a pleasure and such a dream and desire come true to not only be able to sing on a CD but a BarlowGirl CD!  Woot!

7. I also sang on a live worship recording for my church.  It’s called The Alabaster Heart Project.  You can find information about ordering the CD at http://www.new-song.com.  I’m also in the choir on that CD.

I think that’s about it for now.  As I said, a lot has happened.  Hopefully I won’t be as delayed with my next posting.

Time Doesn’t Diffuse Promises

Time Doesn’t Diffuse Promises

by Lindsay ♥ 1 Comment

I don’t think this blog will be as well put together as most of my other blogs. It usually takes me anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to edit, proofread, delete, add, change, think, redo, etc., etc. my blogs.

However, this time, I just need to release my thoughts and writerize (the writing form of verbalize) what’s going on in my head.

So let’s get to it…

God’s promises don’t change. God isn’t like people. Humans promise things and often fail to deliver. “I promise you, I’ll love you forever.” Years later, a tragic divorce.

“There’s no way I’ll miss your game, son.” Caught up in the busyness of his day, a father fails to show up to his young son’s soccer game.

“Your secret’s safe with me. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” The next day, gossip encircles a young female as she realizes her trusted friend betrayed her confidence.

God doesn’t do that. When He says He’ll do something, He will do something.

I am trying to pound this point into my head. I cannot compare God to man. I cannot gauge my trust level of God based on my human experiences.

God promised me a job on the MTSU campus. He confirmed it through His Word, the Bible. He’s confirmed it in the Spirit. He’s affirmed and confirmed it through other people in my life. He speaks to me specifically about the job when I go to pray on campus.

Yet, I still find myself doubting what He said. I still feel me slipping into times of pensive consideration of, “Well, what if He doesn’t? What if I don’t get a job there? What if I’m not hearing Him? What if I’m left disappointed?”

God isn’t an “if” God. God is a “truth” God.

The truth is that God doesn’t lie. The truth is that God doesn’t deny Himself. The truth is that time doesn’t diffuse God’s promises. Waiting doesn’t weaken the promises of God. In the words of Joyce Meyer, we want “microwave miracles” from God. We want it zapped to us right now.

The situation I’m in requires a crock pot miracle. It requires a slow brew of basting, tenderizing, flavorizing, slow-cooked goodness of perfect maturity.

A gap in time between promise and promise fulfilled doesn’t negate the promise. God spoke to me about this job a long time ago. His promise of a job is still true, though I still see no evidence of a job there. Though I have not been called for an interview. Though I’m still without job.

Here are a few segments of passages from the Bible that have really challenged me and convicted me on this particular subject:

Excerpts from Psalm 31:

In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.

Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.

My times are in your hands….

Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.

Let me not be put to shame, O LORD,
for I have cried out to you….

How great is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.

Love the LORD, all his saints!
The LORD preserves the faithful

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

Psalm 34:

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Romans 4:

What does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed….

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

Scripture regarding my unbelief:

1 John 1:9-10:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

The way I see it, the only way that God is a liar and not telling the truth, is if I do not confess my sins. If I don’t continually confess my unbelief and doubt in this situation, then God is a liar.

Regarding the other passages, you’ll notice that I will not be ashamed, because His Word says so. I am looking to Him and pursuing the leading He’s given me. I will not be disappointed.

The only failure in all of this is unbelief. If I waver in faith, this is not credited to me as righteousness.

There is no punishment for believing God. But there is punishment for unbelief. The Word proves that I will not be disappointed. I will not be shamed. God is not a liar, so what He told me is true. He will deliver. He is my refuge.

In some twisted way, it seems more normal to be doubtful. Doubt defines the culture around me. Doubt feels safer. But, I am counter-culture. I am a woman of faith. I have seen the evidence and fulfillment of God’s promises in my life and in the life of others.

So, really, all things considered, believing is actually the safe thing here. Unbelief brings disappointment and discipline. Wavering brings spinning in a downward spiral of lost progress. Doubt brings in deception.

Belief brings truth. Belief brings fulfillment. Belief leads to promises fulfilled.