Flashback Forward: Reflecting on My New Reflection

Weight Update

The last time you read my words here, I was 10 pounds heavier. Today, I’m down to a 30 pound weight loss. It may be more than that by now, but I haven’t weighed myself since Wednesday. The good news is I’m getting a scale for my birthday. So after the 9th, I’ll be all sorts of accurate and you won’t have to wait to find out my weight. 🙂

Nostalgia

As I sit here typing, I’m listening to a 90s Country station on Pandora. John Michael Montgomery is crooning and I’m reflecting back on my life in the 1990s. When I look in the mirror now, I’m beginning to see a 90s version of myself.

That skinnier face peers back at me. First quizzically, as if it doesn’t know who I am. But then it realizes, and smiles–revealing that same small gap between my two front teeth. My blue eyes with the one brown spot still shine. My silly hair–half straight and half curly–gleams in all its blonde, never-colored purity.

I look like a me that’s full of possibility. I look like a more agile version of myself–a girl who will no longer stand on the floor and awkwardly reach upward to install a new shower curtain. No, now she stands on the bathtub, balancing one leg per side, so she can get a better angle at the shower curtain rod.

I’ve got friends in low places…

*sigh* Chris Gaines.

Reactions to a Healthier, Better Me

I’ve received rave reviews. People greet me in a new way, often commenting on how skinny I look or address me by the amount of weight I’ve lost. i.e. “Hey, skinny mini!” Or “Hey, 30 pounds!” This life change has definitely infused vigor into my salutations!

Others have told me I’m an inspiration. What an honor to have that consideration! Some have marveled at how open I am with my weight loss journey. I post updates on Twitter and Facebook and write blogs.

Initially, I was not open and vulnerable at all. I even had a secret weigh in for because I didn’t want anyone to know how much I weighed at the beginning of the competition. However, now that I’ve lost so much, I just step right on that scale and don’t mind who sees. 🙂

Flashback Forward

It occurred to me today that I’m about 20 pounds lighter than I was when I moved to TN in 2006. All the folks here have never seen me this way. No wonder they are so verbally responsive! I can only wonder how people react when I get down to my goal weight. I know for certain that some have thought that I wasn’t a skinny-framed person. They thought it was kind of normal that I was larger.

My Nebraska peeps obviously haven’t seen me much since I moved, but many of them will remember how I looked in high school. And how convenient that my 10 year reunion is next year. I’m not losing the weight to make a statement there, but I do enjoy that I’ll look more like the Lindsay of my classmates’ memories.

Ordinary? No. I really don’t think so. 

Yes, Kenny Chesney, this journey has been extraordinary. Sometimes it doesn’t seem real. Every day, I convince myself that I’m really doing this. I really am healthier. I really do look more fit. I really am going to continue losing weight.

And, thank the Lord, I’m back to blogging again.

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Wonderful Weight Loss: The Saggy Bottom Girl

In constant sorrow all through her days…

I admit it. I was ashamed of my weight. I didn’t like selecting cute outfits to wear because I didn’t feel cute in them. I didn’t want to hang out with people because I thought they didn’t want to hang out with me. I thought they were ashamed of me because I was ashamed of myself. I could say that I was at a sustained level of constant sorrow.

Sure. I had my ups. But I had mostly downs. Instead of usual joy and occasional sadness. I was mostly sad and infrequently glad.

At the time, I wasn’t exactly sure why. Was it difficult interactions with a few friends in my life? Was I missing my Yankee upbringing as a quasi-permanent resident of the South?  Did I feel like a college graduate career failure because I wasn’t a journalist at a daily newspaper?

The foggy bottoming out came into a clearer perspective after I found out about my coworkers’ seemingly harebrained idea.

“I think we should do a Biggest Loser,” he said.

“We should! We could get everyone involved! We can make it a competition and we’ll have a cash prize and weekly weigh ins. We should do it!” she excitedly responded.

I heard one-half of the exchange taking place over the phone in the other office as my coworker and friend talked to my other coworker and friend on the phone.

“Oh, no!” I thought. I’ll never be able to fully commit to that. I have no idea how to lose weight. I know I need to get healthy…

*Flashback to many-a conversation with my closest friend.*

“I love you, Linds, but I really think you need to consider doing something different with your eating. You need to exercise more. Some of the food you eat. It’s…it’s really not good for you, sweetie. Do you know that?”

*sigh* “Yes.” I responded, exasperated that we were talking about this “issue” again.

*Flash forward to reality and the realization that we really were going to do a competition*

And not in the distant future. In a week. In one week we were going to embark on a journey of strenuous, self-denying agony. And not just for a little while. For three months! I couldn’t eat for three months!

I was going to be so hungry! I was going to fail! I was going to be the one out of nine of us gaining weight. I was going to be the one to bring us all down.

Alas, I considered the idea of overhauling my life before the Lord. I prayed and asked Him to help me. I talked to my closest friends. I talked to my parents. I sought counsel from my leaders. And I polled my co-workers to see what they were doing to try and be the winner.

And then I discovered the My Fitness Pal app. Oh, what a wonder! The first day that I used it, I was in shock and awe at how many calories I consumed. I went to McDonald’s for a sausage egg McMuffin, hashbrown, and a trashcan-sized Coca-Cola. Eight hundred calories! All absorbed into my adipose before 8 o’clock in the morning!

I’d consumed almost 3,000 calories in one day. And I barely ever worked out. No wonder I’d not experienced any major weight loss!

Like a true Strengths Finder 2.0 learner would, I took to the internet and searched for workout plans and meal plans. I listened in when my boss was talking about how she loses weight and took note of how to apply that to my life. I called up the other, healthier folk in my life and asked them to teach me things. Like how to make fish.

And, like the miracle of God that it was, I felt differently inside the day before the first weigh in. I felt my desires changing. I didn’t want Cheetos. I wanted broccoli. Steamed broccoli. I felt the innate urge to work out. All. The. Time. That was August 1. Our competition was slated to run until Halloween. I began eating 1,200 calories a day and trying to burn at least 3,500 calories before the next weigh-in. My goal was to lose one-two pounds per week.

***********

Now it is eight weeks later. And wouldn’t you know it. I’m doing alright! I’ve lost weight every week! I’m up to 21 pounds so far! For the longest time, I was in fourth place overall. But after today’s weigh-in, I’m in third place! I have high hopes to work my way to the top!

My goal is to lose approximately 100 pounds. After losing a century of weight, I’d be down to the weight I was in high school. Back when I was a “pretty salty” golfer, as my dad would say. Back when colleges were courting me to join their snazzy golf teams. Back when I was in beast mode, physically speaking. Back when I had my one-and-only boyfriend.

With each pound lost, I’m feeling less like the woman of constant sorrow and more like the saggy bottom girl. Saggy because my old jeans don’t fit me. And it’s almost time for me to begin investing in a new wardrobe.

I’m not ashamed of myself anymore, either. The spark of joy has reignited. And I’m hopeful for my future, knowing that I can live in my new lifestyle well beyond the three months of this competition.

After this is over, I’ll thank my harebrained co-workers. I may even hug them. Because their collaborative idea changed my life!

Created by MyFitnessPal – Free Weight Loss Tools

Love and Basketball: Full Court(ship) Press

I believe in courtship. In love and in life. I wholeheartedly endorse it.

Inquisitive passer-by: “Courtship, huh? Isn’t that an antiquated term for dating, circa Jane Austen?” 

Lindsay the Letter Writer: “Who says old-timey things are bad? Have you not seen Downton Abbey? That stuff’s legit right now.”

Inquisitive passer-by: “Well played, Auntie Quated. Well played.”

If I believe in a living Savior from 2,000 years ago, it makes perfect sense that I’d follow a concept from the 1500s, as well. 😉

Courtship is more than a guided process of a man wooing a woman. It’s also the practice of testing out new things.

I think the 90-day new-hire probationary period is a form of courtship. The employer is checking to see if the employee really is qualified. And the employee is discovering whether or not they fit in at their new job.

We’ve got buyer’s remorse, so you can even court a car.

Or that 60-day money back guarantee. Courting a product.

Basketball

So why’s it so weird that a man would court a woman? What’s wrong with trusted leaders with experience in a marriage relationship guiding people they love through a journey of discovery?

If 50% of marriages allegedly fail, perhaps society should change their pre-marital approach.

Of all the marriages I’ve seen that first went through a courtship, 100% of them have succeeded.

I’m reporting my findings of watching this hypothetical love and basketball game between dating and courtship. The full court pressing in of courtship dominates the casual game plan of dating.

So, I choose courtship. Even if it means I’ve been single for 27 years. Even if both of my younger siblings are in a relationship and I’m not. Because if waiting for the one right man means a better marriage for me later, I’ll wait.

Breaking All the Blogging Rules

I break the rules of blogging all the time.

I let this one go dormant. I promised to keep it active again after reinstating it. And then…dormancy. And then I pledged to activated it once more. And then I went dark again. I can tell you–as a person who knows how to do blogging the proper way–I do not do this blog the proper way.

I think I use all my creative energies writing for The Bug Man’s blog. No, that’s not a plug for my company’s website, but it is an honest referral to where I am now. All of my SEO thinking and content creating is over there. Congrats, bosses, you have the best of my creative mind. It’s ok, though. They are worthy to receive my creativity.

There are many things that I often want to say on this blog, I just don’t get around to it. Because of the late nights. Because it takes too much energy to spin my own brand. To spin me. To create a buzz about myself. It seems narcissistic. It seems like bad personal business.

Here’s something interesting: I have been writing more letters. I have my own personal embosser with a Letters from Lindsay seal. So, if nothing else, I’m at least writing letters from Lindsay. You just don’t see them. I’m sorry, internet.

Maybe I’ll return to you…some day.

p.s. And I didn’t even post a picture. Cardinal rules: broken! 😉

A Poem About Acorns

In an attempt to be a better, more socially-appropriate adult, I created and brought a hostess gift for Thanksgiving. In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, I’d scoped out inexpensive ideas for hostess gifts. Thanks to keen observation and my friend Bethany’s The Simple Day blog, I came up with an idea. The whole thing swirled around one item: acorns.

You can check out a picture of my hostess gift at instagr.am.

I went shopping at Wal*Mart and found the glass container on clearance for $1.50. Then, I hit up the yard at my old apartment complex and acquired the acorns. However, after I added the acorns to the container, it just didn’t seem like enough. So I resolved that I would write a poem that described the recipient of the gift, the gift itself and the occasion. If you look closely at the picture, you can read the poem. For the sake of context, I’ll inform you that I spent Thanksgiving with my closest friend and her family. The poem is primarily about her step mom since she was the hostess.

The poem’s pasted below. It’s called: sOAK it in.

Let us gather together
And not rush hastily forward
Savor the sensation
Of sensing where the Spirit’s stirring

We measure milestones
In cycling seasons
And reminisce
Moments and movement

Like an acorn falling from a tree
Deposits drop from our mouths
Another seed is sown
So another tree can grow

Life musings about faith, family, friends, writing and photography, plus much more

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