Tag Archives: weight loss

Crying and Dancing in Zumba Class

I cried at Zumba last night.

At least I think I cried.

It was hard to tell the tears from the sweat beading down my ruddy face.

So there I was, movin’ and shakin’ to the beat, watching the instructor in front of me and attempting to mimic her movements in the mirror.

*Step to the left and raise your right arm.*

*Step to the right and raise your left arm.*

It was like a scene in slow motion. Yet the Spanish beats were bumping and all of our hearts were cardio-pumping.

“This isn’t just a fun Zumba class,” I thought to myself. “We’re dancing for our lives. What we’re doing is miraculous. If we don’t dance, we die.”

I understand that my inner monologue sounds a lot like a teaser for a cheesy movie, but track with me here.

The path that I was on was headed for diabetes and heart disease. Sure, it was full of a lot of tasty Cheetos, but healthy looks better than Cheetos taste.

There were even points in my life where I distinctly recall a fruity taste in my mouth. I once read that an unexplained fruity taste means that a person may be diabetic. My grandma was diabetic. She also had heart issues.

Ursula

In a biggest loser competition I participated in, we chose a cartoon to depict our before and after photos. My before picture was Ursula from ‘The Little Mermaid.’ My after is Jessica Rabbit from ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’

I kid you not, Ursula looks a lot like my grandma. Same body type. Even the same hair color. But my grandma was not a six-limbed octopus. She was a nice German lady. I liked her. Though I admit that I had to work really hard not to think that my grandma really was Ursula from the movie. Cuz her name was Ursula, too. And she looked so similar!

Point being, I was right on target to be a diabetic cartoon octopus.

I was considering all of those things in my slow-scene, Zumba-mirror moment. And that’s why I cried.

This has been a surprisingly emotional journey. I am so grateful for all the support I’ve received from everyone. If you’ve left me a comment or liked a post, thank you so much. You spur me on to “keep swimming” down this path of fitness.

Flashback Forward: Reflecting on My New Reflection

Weight Update

The last time you read my words here, I was 10 pounds heavier. Today, I’m down to a 30 pound weight loss. It may be more than that by now, but I haven’t weighed myself since Wednesday. The good news is I’m getting a scale for my birthday. So after the 9th, I’ll be all sorts of accurate and you won’t have to wait to find out my weight. 🙂

Nostalgia

As I sit here typing, I’m listening to a 90s Country station on Pandora. John Michael Montgomery is crooning and I’m reflecting back on my life in the 1990s. When I look in the mirror now, I’m beginning to see a 90s version of myself.

That skinnier face peers back at me. First quizzically, as if it doesn’t know who I am. But then it realizes, and smiles–revealing that same small gap between my two front teeth. My blue eyes with the one brown spot still shine. My silly hair–half straight and half curly–gleams in all its blonde, never-colored purity.

I look like a me that’s full of possibility. I look like a more agile version of myself–a girl who will no longer stand on the floor and awkwardly reach upward to install a new shower curtain. No, now she stands on the bathtub, balancing one leg per side, so she can get a better angle at the shower curtain rod.

I’ve got friends in low places…

*sigh* Chris Gaines.

Reactions to a Healthier, Better Me

I’ve received rave reviews. People greet me in a new way, often commenting on how skinny I look or address me by the amount of weight I’ve lost. i.e. “Hey, skinny mini!” Or “Hey, 30 pounds!” This life change has definitely infused vigor into my salutations!

Others have told me I’m an inspiration. What an honor to have that consideration! Some have marveled at how open I am with my weight loss journey. I post updates on Twitter and Facebook and write blogs.

Initially, I was not open and vulnerable at all. I even had a secret weigh in for because I didn’t want anyone to know how much I weighed at the beginning of the competition. However, now that I’ve lost so much, I just step right on that scale and don’t mind who sees. 🙂

Flashback Forward

It occurred to me today that I’m about 20 pounds lighter than I was when I moved to TN in 2006. All the folks here have never seen me this way. No wonder they are so verbally responsive! I can only wonder how people react when I get down to my goal weight. I know for certain that some have thought that I wasn’t a skinny-framed person. They thought it was kind of normal that I was larger.

My Nebraska peeps obviously haven’t seen me much since I moved, but many of them will remember how I looked in high school. And how convenient that my 10 year reunion is next year. I’m not losing the weight to make a statement there, but I do enjoy that I’ll look more like the Lindsay of my classmates’ memories.

Ordinary? No. I really don’t think so. 

Yes, Kenny Chesney, this journey has been extraordinary. Sometimes it doesn’t seem real. Every day, I convince myself that I’m really doing this. I really am healthier. I really do look more fit. I really am going to continue losing weight.

And, thank the Lord, I’m back to blogging again.

Wonderful Weight Loss: The Saggy Bottom Girl

In constant sorrow all through her days…

I admit it. I was ashamed of my weight. I didn’t like selecting cute outfits to wear because I didn’t feel cute in them. I didn’t want to hang out with people because I thought they didn’t want to hang out with me. I thought they were ashamed of me because I was ashamed of myself. I could say that I was at a sustained level of constant sorrow.

Sure. I had my ups. But I had mostly downs. Instead of usual joy and occasional sadness. I was mostly sad and infrequently glad.

At the time, I wasn’t exactly sure why. Was it difficult interactions with a few friends in my life? Was I missing my Yankee upbringing as a quasi-permanent resident of the South?  Did I feel like a college graduate career failure because I wasn’t a journalist at a daily newspaper?

The foggy bottoming out came into a clearer perspective after I found out about my coworkers’ seemingly harebrained idea.

“I think we should do a Biggest Loser,” he said.

“We should! We could get everyone involved! We can make it a competition and we’ll have a cash prize and weekly weigh ins. We should do it!” she excitedly responded.

I heard one-half of the exchange taking place over the phone in the other office as my coworker and friend talked to my other coworker and friend on the phone.

“Oh, no!” I thought. I’ll never be able to fully commit to that. I have no idea how to lose weight. I know I need to get healthy…

*Flashback to many-a conversation with my closest friend.*

“I love you, Linds, but I really think you need to consider doing something different with your eating. You need to exercise more. Some of the food you eat. It’s…it’s really not good for you, sweetie. Do you know that?”

*sigh* “Yes.” I responded, exasperated that we were talking about this “issue” again.

*Flash forward to reality and the realization that we really were going to do a competition*

And not in the distant future. In a week. In one week we were going to embark on a journey of strenuous, self-denying agony. And not just for a little while. For three months! I couldn’t eat for three months!

I was going to be so hungry! I was going to fail! I was going to be the one out of nine of us gaining weight. I was going to be the one to bring us all down.

Alas, I considered the idea of overhauling my life before the Lord. I prayed and asked Him to help me. I talked to my closest friends. I talked to my parents. I sought counsel from my leaders. And I polled my co-workers to see what they were doing to try and be the winner.

And then I discovered the My Fitness Pal app. Oh, what a wonder! The first day that I used it, I was in shock and awe at how many calories I consumed. I went to McDonald’s for a sausage egg McMuffin, hashbrown, and a trashcan-sized Coca-Cola. Eight hundred calories! All absorbed into my adipose before 8 o’clock in the morning!

I’d consumed almost 3,000 calories in one day. And I barely ever worked out. No wonder I’d not experienced any major weight loss!

Like a true Strengths Finder 2.0 learner would, I took to the internet and searched for workout plans and meal plans. I listened in when my boss was talking about how she loses weight and took note of how to apply that to my life. I called up the other, healthier folk in my life and asked them to teach me things. Like how to make fish.

And, like the miracle of God that it was, I felt differently inside the day before the first weigh in. I felt my desires changing. I didn’t want Cheetos. I wanted broccoli. Steamed broccoli. I felt the innate urge to work out. All. The. Time. That was August 1. Our competition was slated to run until Halloween. I began eating 1,200 calories a day and trying to burn at least 3,500 calories before the next weigh-in. My goal was to lose one-two pounds per week.

***********

Now it is eight weeks later. And wouldn’t you know it. I’m doing alright! I’ve lost weight every week! I’m up to 21 pounds so far! For the longest time, I was in fourth place overall. But after today’s weigh-in, I’m in third place! I have high hopes to work my way to the top!

My goal is to lose approximately 100 pounds. After losing a century of weight, I’d be down to the weight I was in high school. Back when I was a “pretty salty” golfer, as my dad would say. Back when colleges were courting me to join their snazzy golf teams. Back when I was in beast mode, physically speaking. Back when I had my one-and-only boyfriend.

With each pound lost, I’m feeling less like the woman of constant sorrow and more like the saggy bottom girl. Saggy because my old jeans don’t fit me. And it’s almost time for me to begin investing in a new wardrobe.

I’m not ashamed of myself anymore, either. The spark of joy has reignited. And I’m hopeful for my future, knowing that I can live in my new lifestyle well beyond the three months of this competition.

After this is over, I’ll thank my harebrained co-workers. I may even hug them. Because their collaborative idea changed my life!

Created by MyFitnessPal – Free Weight Loss Tools