Category Archives: Prophetic Vision

Dare You to Move

I accept your dare, Switchfoot. I accept.

I’m moving back to Nebraska. The good life. At least that’s what the slogan promises. It’s not my best life now a-la Joel Osteen. It’s, ‘Welcome to Nebraska — The Good Life,’ as the state sign at the border proclaims.

After six and a half years in Tennessee, I’m returning to my roots. I find this interesting because my name — Lindsay — means talking tree. Trees have roots. I am a person who wants to loyally and lavishly land somewhere for a long time. I want to establish myself and become part of a network.

And, honestly, the entire time I’ve been in Tennessee I’ve sensed a hesitancy to truly root myself here. I was as committed and faithful as I could be, but I did not ever feel completely comfortable with practicing permanence here. However, I didn’t fully identify that feeling until I made the determination to move back. It was then that I realized what it was.

God knew He would move me back to the Cornhusker state. That’s why I felt those fleeting feelings. That’s why I often thought I was on an extended vacation as I traveled these Tennessee roads. That’s why I felt this compulsive urgency to take everything in and remember it…because I wouldn’t be seeing these sights for the rest of my life. It was a season to be remembered fondly. Not a place to take up permanent residence.

I don’t know exactly what Nebraska will hold. But I’m hopeful. I’m encouraged and positive that I’ll meet my elusive husband soon. I’m anticipating that I’ll really enjoy my new career as a corporate journalist.

And I know with everything within me that God is just as much in Nebraska as He is in Tennessee. He’s got a community of people waiting for me. There’s a Lindsay-shaped hole there that this talking tree needs to fill.

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There Will Be a New Water Tower Man on the Horizon

Murfreesboro water towerA few weeks ago, I took a walk on the Stones River Greenway during my lunch break. I work in downtown Murfreesboro, so I was actually able to walk from the office down to the Greenway. Walking to the Greenway makes me look a whole lot healthier than merely driving to the Greenway. It gives me at least 15 more exercise bonus points. And in this imaginary land where every exercise is made up and the points don’t matter, I totally won that day.

*pauses*

Wow, this blog is a whole lot sillier than I ever thought it would be! My attempt is to make a serious point about something very sacred and hallowed and revered…

…and often despised and wanted-escaped-from and cursed-at…

Singleness. Seemingly never-ending singleness. No-man, nothin-on-the-horizon singlehood. Reverse widowhood–the losing of a husband before he is ever discovered in the first place. Whoa! Sounds serious!

I’ve got to be honest, it appears that there is no man on my horizon. And what am I to see, anyway? As the one to be pursued. As the lady in waiting. As the outwardly (while inwardly fighting to be) content, confident, rolling-up-on-thirty woman.

I know the godly, correct answers to those nagging questions. I am to see Jesus Christ. I am to see Jesus as my husband. I am to see me as His Bride. I am to remember that people aren’t even married in heaven anyway. I am to see my season as a gift. I am to treasure my time of singleness. I am to know that I am still single for a very important reason. I am to trust that I am most effective in my ministry in this current time as a single woman. I am to be a lot of things. And I am those things. Usually…

This blog isn’t a complaint-riddled rant. No, no. It is an epistle of revelation about one of my favorite things: water towers.

I grew up in a small, small town. For much of my time there, we didn’t even have a water tower! We were the only town in that area that didn’t have a water tower! So, naturally, as a girl deprived of this fantastic marvel of modern humanity, I became fascinated with the city landmark that we didn’t have. Every town I went to, I searched for the water tower. I memorized what each one said. I planned special driving routes just to make sure I’d get the best scope of the water pressure wonder.

At some point in my childhood, my town finally got a water tower. It is situated just behind the hospital where my mom works.  I remember walking or biking up to visit my mom while she was at work. But also to visit the water tower. Just to look at it. To watch how it was made. To continually comment how it looked like a golf ball tee upside down with a golf ball situated on it. My animated mind always imagined that the water tower golf ball would eventually fall off balance and crush the buildings beneath it and flood the surrounding area.

Oh, yes, the Greenway. I was walking on the Greenway. Allow me to return to my story. As I was exercising my left and right foot down the asphalt path, I found myself thinking about water towers again because Murfreesboro just built a new one. We have so many already, but now we have another. I’ve watched the different phases of construction in the last several weeks. I’ve driven down Broad Street for the sole purpose of getting a better look at the water tower.

Greenway water tower

That day, as I was walking and praying along the Greenway, I had a revelation. Crossing over the bridge and turning the corner toward the Manson Pike trailhead, the new water tower came in to full view in front of me.

I realized that the horizon in front of me had changed. Every other time I had walked down that path, all I saw was trees. Now, the water tower is there. And it fits right in, as if it’s been there forever.

Before the bridge, I was praying for one of my friends. After I crossed the bridge and saw the water tower, I began praying for my future husband. Not purposefully. My prayers just flowed into that next subject.

In those moments, God spoke to me. He said, “Your future husband will be like this water tower. You don’t see him right now, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not building him up. He’s not on your horizon, but he could be in a few months. Just like this water tower. He’ll stand tall. He’ll be a carrier of pure, living water. He will bring life and vitality to this city. Don’t get discouraged that you don’t see him yet. Things can happen quickly. Don’t fear that you’ll have to go through a long process to become comfortable with him being in your life. Like the water tower, it will seem natural and familiar.”

God can change landscapes. He can build water towers.

I don’t have to be afraid. I don’t have to feel like I’m behind if I’m not already some guy’s friend. It’s much better for me not to be pining after someone that I interact with on a regular basis. Maybe I am already the friend of my future husband and I just don’t know it yet.

Shortly after this awesome revelation, I had to turn around and head back to the office. I set a timer on my phone so it would alert me halfway through so I could get back just in time. Well, actually, I turned around a few minutes early because I didn’t want to walk through a muddy spot on the path. It had rained the few days prior to this walk.

Almost seconds after I turned around, I heard the train whistle blowing. One can never be sure how long a train will take to go through an intersection. And I had to walk over the train tracks to get over to the other part of the path. But I didn’t mind. Nope. I was actually excited. Because I also like trains. I was enamored as I watched the train pass by so close to me. And I got to see an invigorating site. train on the Murfreesboro Greenway

The train was stacked with two cars on top of each other. I’d seen this a few times before. But never had I seen the two-stacked-train pass under a bridge. It was surprisingly dramatic to watch the cars pass just beneath the bottom of the bridge. They didn’t slow down. They rattled on. This visualization was a continuation of the previous revelation.

Once again, God used what I saw in front of me as a point of encouragement. “You see the cars?” He said.

“Yes, I do. Very interesting! I’m grateful that I got to see this!”

“The train’s locomotive engineer knows that the train will pass under the bridge,” He said. “He knows that there won’t be a collision. He trusts that each town has made sure the bridge is high enough. And he trusts that there is enough room for the train to clear the bridge.”

“Uh huh,” I replied, eager to hear more.

“You’ve got to trust that I’m the locomotive engineer. You have to know that I see the bridges ahead of you. You won’t collide into something and crash. There is clearance to pass through the track you’re on. You don’t have to slow down at each intersection. You don’t have to look at what’s in front of you and worry that you won’t make it through.”

Not only can God change landscapes, He’s also a magnificent locomotive engineer.

*smiles*

I really enjoyed that day. And I’m quite thrilled that I can share this story with whoever it is that reads this.

I am not entirely sure who is in my reading audience. Some of you may be familiar with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. What happened to me on that day probably won’t seem odd to you.

And there may be others who think that I’m crazy because I said that God spoke to me.

If any one of you has questions, please post a comment. If you want to discuss any of this, I’m up for it.

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Crappyness

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got an epidemic!

Satan–the enemy of our souls–has silenced too many Christians.

I have been a silent one.
I have been convinced that what I have to say does not matter.
I’ve been duped that I have nothing to contribute.

During my season of silencing, I thought I was being reflective and pensive. It was just part of life. I had the liberty to process. It led to a lot of crappyness in the Kingdom.

Satan’s life is throwing me death.
Satan’s liberty is to torment me.
Satan’s fruit is the pursuit of crappyness.

The lie is I have nothing to say. The truth is that I have more to share than ever before. The lie is that my life is inconsequential and not worth mentioning. The truth is I’ve got the Truth in me and He needs to be shared.

My aim is to advance the Great Commission. When I am too silent, I miss the mark. And missing the mark is the definition of sin. If the Holy Spirit has put something in me and I don’t share it, then I’m grieving Him.

What are you doing with your life? Sitting around watching television, trying to solve the world’s problems from your couch?

What liberties are you living for? The liberty to do whatever you want, whenever you want?

Are you in the pursuit of crappyness?

Assess where you are and ask the Lord what you can improve in your life. Ask Him to show you where you’ve been silent. You may be surprised by what you hear.

A Little Sabbatical

Long time no write!

In September, I joined a student internship through my church–New Song Christian Fellowship. Since then, there’s been a whirlwind of classes, meetings, learning, mentoring, working, sleeping, eating…

And during all of that activity, there has not been much time for me to sit at home on the computer on the internet.

But hey, that’s totally a wonderful thing! For awhile, I’ve been longing for an internet sabbatical. Well, I got one!

It’s been wonderful to be immersed in ministry to the point of not having time for the computer.

Here’s what’s happened since my last blog:

I needed a new job. I looked for one. I found one. Now I’m working seasonally at a home decor store. When the Christmas season is over, I think my temporary seasonal job will end too. So now I’m on the lookout for the next job.

I’ve taken and completed one term of Bible classes in my student internship at New Song. I took Pentateuch, Systematic Theology and Spiritual Leadership. I recently turned in my finals (Dec. 1) and now I’m waiting on my grades for those classes. I think I did well on the finals and I really enjoyed those classes. In January, I start my second term of classes.

Well, that’s pretty much it. I’m too busy for the internet and that’s a wonderful thing.

I’ll post again when I’ve got some free time. Have a Merry Christmas! Remember that Jesus is the important One here, not materialism.

Foreign Impressions On My Domestic Life

In the previous post, you read an abridged version of what generally went down on my mission trip to the Dominican Republic. This blog is specifically about how I was affected personally. I’ll discuss what I was hoping for going into the trip, what happened while there and where I am now. I’ll try to go in order with each of the three sections so it’s easier to follow the progression. We’ll see how it pans out.

What I Was Hoping For Going Into the Trip

* Greater clarity for my future
* Build better relationships with the other Frontline young adults
* Grow in compassion for missions and evangelism
* Reduce my dependence on convenient, comfortable living (i.e. sleeping and food conditions)
* Become a more proficient Spanish speaker
* Grow in greater intimacy with the Lord

What Happened While There

* Greater clarity – I received clear evidence that I speak prophetically in the Spirit and that I hear accurately from the Lord. It was confirmed time and time again that the Lord speaks to me and what I share from Him resonates with other people.
* Better relationships with fellow Frontliners – That definitely happened! I was with the same group of people consistently for 12 days. We shared everything, much like the church of Acts. I had several wonderful conversations with numerous different people. While in the DR, the group of us became a family. I love seeing everyone now. Every time we meet up, it’s like a little reunion. We’ve moved beyond surface friends and entered into endearing family.
* Compassion for missions and evangelism – Walking actively in missions and evangelism for several days in a row makes a person grow in that area. I did grow in compassion naturally. It wasn’t forced and it wasn’t arduous. Because of the Holy Spirit, it was easy to serve together with the rest of the team in these areas. Yes, I got tired sometimes, but I enjoyed all of the evangelistic things we did.
* Convenient, comfortable living – After showering in cold, contaminated water, I slept in my own sweat on a thin, foam mat in a non-air conditioned room. I ate a bunch of strange food. I couldn’t flush my toilet paper. It wasn’t convenient and it wasn’t comfortable. But I did not complain. Rather, I just accepted it for what it was and continued on.
* Spanish speaking – I didn’t know a lot of Spanish before I left. I still don’t know that much. However, it was great to use all the stuff I’d learned in my Spanish classes in a real-time. I am continuing to study Spanish as often as possible. We have lots of Spanish channels on TV. Sometimes I watch the programming. Not the sappy soap operas, though.
* Intimacy with the Lord – Check, check and triple check! My personal time with Jesus was amazing. Our group devos were wonderful. I journaled, worshiped, and…simply…grew. It was great to walk in personal and corporate intimacy with Jesus. Truly awe-inducing.

Where I Am Now

Different. I’m different. I realize how spoiled Americans are. I realize how much money I have even when I feel like I have nothing. I appreciate my pillow top bed immensely. Continuous, hot showers are a celebration. I would go on another mission trip. I don’t feel called to be a full-time foreign missionary. But I do know that I’m constantly on mission with the Spirit wherever I am. I now have better relationship with my Christian brothers. I need a healthy balance of men and women in my community and now I’ve got it.

My perspective has permanently shifted. Thank You, God, for that!

Captive Audience

Tonight I went to my second Murfreesboro Writers’ Group meeting. The first time I went, I read a song I recently wrote while on a plane ride. It was called “Fragmented Patches.” Maybe I’ll post it later. I don’t know. Do you want to read it?

I joined the writers’ group for a few reasons. I want to meet new people. I work at home so I have a limited workplace sphere of influence. Through this group, I can influence people. I haven’t been writing very much and I wanted motivation to start again. I have nothing else to do on the second and fourth Wednesday of every month. I used to have Life Group that night, but ours now meets on the second and fourth Sundays of the month.

This writers’ group is a HUGE witnessing opportunity. Huge. Huge. As you’re surely aware, writing is a deeply personal activity. Writers write what they feel. And, if they claim to have no feelings, they make up characters who have the feelings the writer is denying.

What you may or may not know about writers is that they generally value each other’s work highly. For example, this particular writers’ group is for constructive criticism only. There is no tearing down of work, thought or concepts. There are many compliments. Several people are impressed by other people. A lot of the attendees in this group are writing novels and short stories. I am mostly focusing on poetry. When I read a poem, some of the writers have no concept of how to construct a poem. They are in awe of the entire poetry genre. To them, it’s a terribly interesting thing that they like but don’t know how to do.

As I was casually seated in my oversized Barnes and Noble chair, I quickly realized how crucial this opportunity is for me. I can write about whatever I want and they have to sit there and listen to me. The same goes for them. I have to sit there and listen to whatever they say too.

I am a Christian. My life is Christ. Naturally, I write about Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit/worship. Some of these folks “aren’t religious.” Those are their words, not mine. But they are intrigued by the things I’ve written and shared. They find what I say interesting and eloquent.

That’s good, because I prayed they would. I asked God to soften their hearts and make them receptive to the Truth that I’ll deliver. I also asked Him to protect me from any harmful subject matter that the other writers detail.

My first week, I read the part of a flirty, vampire girl. That’s so not my life. But this lady was writing a play and she needed people to read the lines. That was the part I was given.

I’ve heard stories of other-worldly mutant dogs; vampires; back-from-the-dead brothers; a pre-meditated, adultery-headed man; sword-chasing, sci-fi fantasy characters and a seriously demented mortician. Oh the imagination writers have!

And to that spattering of ideas and fantasies, it’s my task to bring Jesus.

I must be intentional with the stuff I present. I have a captive audience. Literally. In two ways. One, they are captive and must pay attention to what I say. Two, they are captives, bound in the lies of the enemy. With the truth that I share through my poems/songs/potential novels, I will hope they see freedom. And, in turn, desire to grasp that freedom.

So, if you’re reading this and you believe in Jesus, please pray for me. I have a unique and powerful opportunity. I’m very excited. I like being spurred to write again, too. It’s such a catharsis for me. I get a little giddy thinking about the possibilities of the words that will come out.

Ending Is Beginning

My blog title is a shout out to Downhere. I’m listening to them play live right now at a GMA showcase. I wanted to go, but had other plans. So I’m watching/listening to a live stream of their set isntead. Their latest CD is called Ending Is Beginning. It’s very good. You should purchase it.

Though I love the band Downhere and their music. This blog is not about them.

It’s about BarlowGirl.

Depending on how well you know me, you know/or you don’t know/or are slightly aware of/or are overly aware of how much I love this band. I do not love them in a fanish, obsessive way. On the contrary. I love them like they are family.

Allow me to explain myself. Whether you take me seriously about my “love them like they are family” comment or not, I’m still going to continue. Be skeptical if you wish. But trust me and know that I am speaking in the utmost pure sincerity about this.

For the last four years of my life, I have faithfully served on the leadership team of BarlowGirl’s message board. It’s called SoundPost. The name is further shortened to SP. Hope you can keep up with all the names/references.

For pretty much every single day of the last four years, I have spent at least an hour (an hour was required) working on that message board, reading posts, answering questions, telling other leaders about problem areas/posts/people and doing other things. Most days, I was on there for well more than an hour. I was assigned to The Band and The Concerts section. I read and answered all sorts of questions about them every day. I’ve garnered ridiculous amounts of trivial BarlowGirl knowlege. Their height, their hair color, their eye color and their many middle names, just to mention a few. I’ve told little 12 year olds not to idolize them. I’ve told creepy middle-aged men to stop objectifying them. I’ve defended them. I’ve helped solve many an internet crisis over issues such as copyright infringement. I’ve laughed at their podcasts and prayed for their needs. I even sang on their Christmas album Home For Christmas because I’m in the choir that they use everytime they record an album. I’ve waited after concerts to talk to them, check in on them encourage them and give them a hug. I’ve done a lot. All in joyful service and all for the advancement of the Kingdom.

And now, as of tomorrow moring at approximately 7 a.m. Central Standard Time, that season of my life is officially over because the message board is closing down. Why is it closed down? In short, because God told them to close it down. God told them that the season of SP is over. 

I agree with His Will for that. I’m in total submission and understanding of His directive to close the message board. I know that God is moving every person on SP into a new season. He’s going to do great things for all of us if/when we allow Him to. I’m excited and expectant for what He’ll do.

When I sign out of SP for the final time tonight, I know I’ll be sad. A four-year-span of service is a long time. When something that impactful is gone and no longer, it will affect people. It will affect me deeply.  I’m emotionally, physically and devotedly invested in this band and their ministry. I’m part of it. I’m not saying that in a prideful way. However, I am saying it just to say it. I took part in something amazing. I’m so honored God allowed me to do that.

I’m not entirely sure what the purpose of this post is. So I can get my feelings out. So I can say a final goodbye to SoundPost. So I can tell you all to check out BarlowGirl. So I can tell you to trust God when He speaks to you and tells you to move on to the next season. The Barlow family and everyone that serves on their ministry team are truly and sincerely and genuinely amazing people. I’m not saying that shallowly. I’m saying it because I know from experience.

*deep sigh* I could say a lot more about a lot of different things. Maybe I will another day. Or maybe I won’t.

Thank you SP and Barlow family for your ministry. God has done so much through you. Your humility and obedienceto God have allowed Him to shine through you so clearly. Who you are and what you do have impacted me in so many ways. I can stand strong in my singleness beause of you. I can stand as a person free from a terrible addiction because of you. I have met so many people through your ministry. I’ve realized a lifelong dream of singing on a CD. 

I cannot thank you enough for your contribution to my life. 

Now…on to the next, exciting season. *lighter sigh*

I’m ready, Lord. Lead me as I walk in Your ways…

Memory Bank Full

Sad news…

My laptop has 2% free memory. That is not much. I’m looking into purchasing an external hard drive. I would like to get a new computer, but first I need to pay off the keyboard I purchased.  So I’ll do the external hard drive thing for awhile. 

My piano lessons are going well. I’m learning a lot from my wonderful teacher. She’s such a music nerd, but that means she teaches me lots of interesting things.

I found out I play the piano better when I balance on one leg than when standing on two. If I think too much about what I’m trying to play, then I mess up. This mostly happens when I’m practicing scales. It’s pretty interesting. Sometimes I close my eyes and do better that way too.

Last weekend, I went to Atlanta for the National Fourssquare Women’s Gathering. I’d never toured Atlanta before so it was fun to go to the Geogria Aquarium and the World of Coke. It was also great to lisen to the speakers and hear their inspiring stories.

I’m considering getting my own website. I think it would be good for me to have one. Why? Cuz I’m a freelance writer. I’d like to perhaps write a book some day. I need a place to direct people. I’m feeling led to create one. I don’t know what God has for my future, but I think it will involve a website. I want to write songs with my new piano playing skill. Maybe God is taking me to a greater level of prominence with my writing. Maybe music publishers will look at the site one day and decide to use my songs. *shrug* I don’t know.

Dominic Delorme is a great GPS. I think he is quite effective. We’ve found several geocaches since I purchased him. I’m excited that the weather is getting warmer because that means more time outside geocaching.

Hope you enjoyed my little update. I hope to post more soon.

Ms. Piano Lady

Hear ye! Hear ye! Starting next Tuesday, Lindsay is going to the School of Worship in Franklin, TN, to learn to play piano and become a better, more versatile worship leader!! She is so excited!

For years, I’ve wanted to play the piano. In recent months, I’ve really been desiring to learn an instrument to enhance my worship experience and skill. Last Tuesday at New Song’s Worship Arts gathering, Nate Sallie announced that he created a worship school. It really piqued my interest so I called him and left a message Wednesday inquiring about that.

I also prayed for confirming words from God about this. I received specific scripture last night in my time with the Lord. And two of my friends affirmed the piano thing before I even mentioned to them what instrument I was thinking about. Last night, I prayed that Nate would contact me today and that would be my confirmation further. Well, he just called and we determined I’ll start next Tuesday. One of Rebecca St James’ piano players will be my instructor. She’s apparently a great teacher and I’ll learn a lot from her. I’m so excited!

Please pray for me as I enter into this time. Each class lasts a month and I can take as many as necessary. Woot!

Here and There

Where’ve I been? I’ve been thinking and growing and learning and reading and Twittering and Facebooking and YouTubing and Googling and living. I’m online all the time.  I’m probably online more than I’m offline.  However, I must confess that WordPress.com is not my most frequented site.  I often think about how I should blog and then I don’t.  Same old story.  You’ve all heard it before.

If you ever wonder what I’m doing, check out my YouTube or Twitter.  I update Twitter A LOT.  It’s so easy and simple. And, since it limits me to a small number of characters, it’s quick.

Anyway, what’s new with me?  Last year, I read the Bible in its entirety.  My church really encourages that.  And for good reason. You learn a lot and grow a lot when you read the Bible. This year, I’m reading the Bible again.  I plan to read it all the way through every year for a long time. I’ve come across a few really great biblical resources and that’s enhanced my learning further. Check out the New Spirit Filled Life Bible, the Hebrew-Greek Keyword Study Bible, The Truth War by John MacArthur and The Beatitudes: The Pursuit of Happiness by Spiros Zodhiates.

I am most likely going to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip in July.  I’ve never been out of the country before so it should be interesting.  I’m also a superbly picky eater so I’ll need God’s grace to eat food that I’m not used to eating.  I try and expand my food vocabularly as often as I can, but I’m still stubborn nevertheless.

I’m writing for A Time To Love Magazine once again.  I do CD reviews and feature stories for them.  It’s a great online magazine.  You should check it out!  I plan on posting here on WordPress to direct everyone to the articles/reviews I write there.  For the February issue, I reviewed VOTA by VOTA and The Tree by newcomer Julianna Zobrist, for example.

Right now I’m listening to Andrew Petersen.  I received his CD in the mail today.  For the March issue of A Time To Love (ATTL), I’ll review Anberlin’s New Surrender and downhere’s Ending Is Beginning.

Soon ATTL will publish my articles about fiercely focused parenting, Darlene Zschech and Plumb.

And, since I’m bouncing around randomly anyway, I have one other thing to share.  If I can sum it up, anyway.  It could be a whole blog in and of itself.  

Christians have three stages: Blessed, Broken, Multiplied.

Blessed
We are blessed to be a blessing.  God wants us to bless others with what He gives us.  We also have to allow Him to put His hand of blessing on what we’re doing.  In order to get that blessing, we obey what He commands us to do.

Broken
This whole concept comes from Matthew 14 and 15, by the way.  Jesus took bread, blessed it, broke it and mulitplied it.   We are all given seeds in the Kingdom.  We need to sow them, water and nourish the seeds others have planted, harvest seeds and sow.  We cannot eat the seeds we are given, either.  We cannot selfishly just think about ourselves and therefore eat our seed.  We need to share what we’ve been given (the breaking of the bread).  Take seeds for example: Something has to die to lead to growth.  The seed dies.  We, as Christians, have to die to our flesh to see growth in the Spirit.

For reference later, I believe I’m in the broken time.  I’ll explain more in a bit.

Multiplied 
If you know even a little about Jesus, you’d know He performed miracles.  Two of them involved loaves and fish.  One miracle fed 5,000 and another fed 4,000.  Jesus was with his 12 disciples at the times of these miracles.  They started out with just a few loaves and fish.  The disciples took the loaves/fish to the groups of people (broken into packs of 50.) Then each person took the bread they were given, broke it in half and then gave it to the next person.  If even one person would’ve eaten the bread they were given out of fear that they wouldn’t get enough, then the whole rest of the group wouldn’t have eaten.  We cannot eat our seed, we have to sow it.  When we share what God’s given and blessed, He multiplies it.

On to me and how this applies to my life….

I’ve been in a time of financial brokenness for a realllly long time.  It started in May of 2008 after I was laid off from my job.  It lasted all summer.  It even continues into now and I’ve got a high-paying job.  (I haven’t gotten paid in over a month.  Long story there…)

Anyhow, on Sunday when I was at church hearing this message on blessing, brokenness and multiplication, God told me that I was in the broken stage.  Awhile back, God revealed that He wanted me to be a sacrificial giver.  I have a strong desire to support those in the ministry financially.  God gives us money so we can filter it through to His Kingdom and what He wants accomplished.  I grasp that and agree with that.  I don’t hoard the money I’m given all for myself.  I give it away to what God tells me to give it away to.

Now that I’ve got that heart attitude, I’ve experienced strong financial resistance against the giving.  However, if giving financially was easy, then it wouldn’t be sacrificial, would it?  No.  So I’m really learning about sacrifice right now as I find it difficult to even pay my own bills because of extenuating circumstances beyond my control.  *cough*not being paid in six weeks when I should’ve been paid in two weeks*cough* 

So God showed me I’m in the broken period.  I’m being broken financially.  I’m walking in a higher level of humility and dependence on Him than I’ve ever been before.  I know that God will bless me and I will prosper financially in the future.  Not so I can be rich and comfortable.  But so I can fund His Kingdom and the work He’s doing.

I believe this time of financial brokenness will end soon.  I believe my giving will be multiplied.

Thanks for reading.  Pursue God’s best!